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Daisy312 posted 7/3/2014 08:55 AM

I do! Ow was married to a deployed guy in the army. She pursued FWH and they had a 7 month A. After Dday she and her bs had some rocky times so they divorced. It's just over 2 years and she's on fb engaged and talking of starting a family! I on the other hand am trying to get through each day, I'm depressed, and sad all of the time! She didn't have kids so she gets to start her life over as if the A never happened! I'm so angry that such a heartless person gets to be happy. I was pregnant and had a toddler at home. I feel stuck! I was so happy and now I just feel ruined! :(

NeverAgain2013 posted 7/3/2014 09:11 AM

Meh. I think the universe has a way of 'righting' itself every now and then, you know?

No one's life is unicorns and roses 100% of the time, so sooner or later, it will be her turn to suffer some kind of strife.

You know what's funny? My ex (I left him over 2 years ago) and his OW didn't stay together. After all the lies, all the sneaking, all the anger, all the deceit, all the manipulation - they didn't even stay together. He basically dumped her because she was a psycho and a stalker and she'd have terrible jealous fits in public, embarrassing herself and him whenever she'd suspect he was up to no good. Spying in his phone bill, his computer, his house - everywhere. She probably had good reason to, but that's a story for another day.

The point I'm making is that in the end, she didn't find her Shangri-La.

I laugh my ass off just because I find it so terribly amusing.

That's what dishonest snakes GET.

Sooner or later, the universe will balance itself and the OW in your case will get what's coming to her eventually.

.

[This message edited by NeverAgain2013 at 9:13 AM, July 3rd (Thursday)]

hardtimesinlife posted 7/3/2014 10:59 AM

(((Daisy)))

[This message edited by hardtimesinlife at 10:59 AM, July 3rd (Thursday)]

Daisy312 posted 7/3/2014 11:10 AM

I think whats really hard is the reflection of my many many years with FWH and realizing I never really felt that he loved me. I always felt like it wasn't there but I convinced myself it was just who he was and he showed love differently. I just want to feel loved and even though he's trying, I don't think I'll ever really feel it with him now that I know what he was capable of doing during a time that I needed him.

Tammy1 posted 7/3/2014 11:22 AM

I'm sorry. It sucks when there seems to be no consequences to the other person. My husband's OW got married in Feb. and is on her honeymoon right now. (Even though she emailed my H last week.) I just hope Karma gets them one day.

HighlandPaddy posted 7/3/2014 11:37 AM

It does suck. I cant stop thinking about the OM. I should be focusing on my wife, but right now he is the one that is clouding my thoughts.
I've actually scared myself with how violent my thoughts about him have become.
I spend hours a day fantasizing about how it will be if I ever meet him, and frankly have disturbed myself.

Logically I know that my fight is not with him. I know that obsessing over him will get me nowhere. NeverAgain is right. Let Karma do her job. It gets us all sooner or later.

We just have to focus on ourselves and if we wish, focus on our WS.

Thats alot easier said than done....but we have to try, right?

Schadenfreude posted 7/3/2014 11:44 AM

HP. The OM didn't cheat on you. He was the vehicle for your WW to cheat. It could have just as easily been someone else. Thinking about him is a waste of time.

Daisy, the same applies,to you. FB is a waste of time. She's not a current threat to your M, so why bother? Concentrate on what W H does to help you as you need to decide whether to R or detach. At decision is the important thing. You seem to be stuck in Limbo and at is not where you want to remain.

needfriendshere posted 7/3/2014 11:49 AM

Daisy, I read this: "I just want to feel loved and even though he's trying, I don't think I'll ever really feel it with him now that I know what he was capable of doing during a time that I needed him" - and just want to give you a hug.

That's what it comes down to, doesn't it? It is difficult to feel completely and totally loved when we know what they are capable of - and that they did it at a time when we really needed them. Boy, that resonates with me! But still, I love my FWH - with all my heart. And, as battered as he makes me feel when I dwell too much on the past, I know he loves me too. If not, he would have chosen her. I gave him that option and, believe me, it was what she wanted!

Focus on R now. As many have said here, karma will ultimately catch up with her. It always does. That's life - it isn't fair, not for any of us. Hang in there!!

Daisy312 posted 7/3/2014 12:15 PM

Thanks everyone!

norabird posted 7/3/2014 12:24 PM

She may be getting married again, but if she hasn't worked on herself, this is a bandaid and you know how it's going to end, right? In her feeling dissatisfied and cheating again. The image you see of happiness...it's only an image. What's underneath it may not have changed and if so will not stand the test of time.

Ostrich80 posted 7/3/2014 15:54 PM

Facebook is an illusion of some people's lives. I know people who appear on fb to have perfect lives..its amazing to me especially when I know the truth. This skank will get hers one day and the bonus, maybe you will get to watch or hear about it. No one has a perfect live and she's a effed up person anyway so I'm sure she will have her karma moment.