*********It's a long story but my husband never was a provider, I was always the strong one. He kept losing his jobs and the only consistency in his resume are frequent athletic adventures.
A friend of mine says that I was always the 'man and the woman' in the relationship. But currently I am quite confused about getting some blame assigned to me.***********
Apologies, I don't know how to use the highlight feature when I want to highlight parts of other people's posts, so I copy/pasted....
I agree with Blanket, you need to surround yourself with positive and understanding people who BTDT and survived infidelity..
Your WH's mom may speak from a place of ignorance or inexperience in this type of situation , which is common... I would venture to guess her advice is how she would personally deal with being a betrayed party if infidelity happened in her marriage.. Not a reflection of how she knows you as a daughter in law..
While it is relatively early in your marriage and you are still young, it would be wise to divorce this guy or insist that he brings in a fair share of the family income.. Make this a condition he has to meet and maintain before you decide to stay with him in the marriage..My predicament is the hindsight I offer people newly betrayed, so that they never find themselves in my shoes...
Temporary unemployment is one thing, we all go thru that...
But the divorce laws in this country (especially no fault states) protect the non wage earners in the marriage whether or not they cheat..
I have nothing against stay at home moms and dads who behave well in the marriage and don't take advantage of their partners...I take issue with a non wage earner who cheats and abuses his or her partner's love and good will..
So don't let too much time get under your belt in this marriage with him being a dead beat cheat..
It is a special kind of hell to have a new D-day at retirement age with an un remorseful WS...To divorce this kind of person would mean you would have to support him in his new single life to the detriment of your own..
[This message edited by doggiediva at 10:18 AM, July 3rd (Thursday)]