[This message edited by Tigaress at 9:37 AM, July 4th (Friday)]
[This message edited by Tigaress at 9:41 AM, July 4th (Friday)]
I just don't see why I am under any further obligation to him until he decides himself to work with me on our marriage.
You are not under further obligation. I'm not familiar with your story, but have you tried using the 180 and detaching? If not, maybe it's time? You sound like you are at the end of your rope and you are getting close to moving on with your life.
[This message edited by Landoes at 9:55 AM, July 4th (Friday)]
I agree with the others. Keep working on yourself. Go to gym, and get that body back in shape. Then divorce him and do whatever you want.
Unfortunately, any guy you accept a date from that has any conversation with you about what is going on in your life is going to have in the back of his mind that it will be easy to get laid. Unfortunately, most of us men think with our penis, and i would be very careful if you do accept a date. You will have plenty of dates when you are free from this mess.
Just remember that NONE of this is your fault. Sure, maybe things weren't perfect, but that's NEVER a reason to cheat. Having a baby is hard on your self esteem and body image. It is a time when the guy really needs to step up and put YOU first. I truly believe women get to be a little selfish when we are expecting, and that HE needed to help you feel sexy, beautiful and loved, NOT the other way around. SO WHAT if you haven't lost the baby weight. Your body just created another amazing little human, and because of that your baby weight should be as sexy as hell to him! So what if your 18 mths out, that's NOT very long.
I can't believe that he hasn't returned your texts or contacted you. What an idiot. He is showing you who he really is. He's making some decisions easy for you, the longer he goes in not contacting you the easier the choice between reconciliation or divorce.
Do you know who the AP is? Is she married, and, if so can you inform her BS? How did you find out about the A?
I am so sorry you are going through this. Holidays are especially hard. Hang in there and post whenever you need. SI is a great resource, and I wish I knew about it when I was going through the worst of it. (((hugs)))
I have finally found my voice and it is good!
The hardest thing for me to come to terms with is the injustice of it all for the BS. In almost every situation in life there is at least some upside if you look hard enough.
This ain't one of them.
I am a large guy with a knack for physical violence. I really wanted to hurt the OM and am abundantly capable of doing so.
Should his daughter suffer for my desire for revenge? (His wife would probably thank me and offered to "get back" at them with me)
That's not who I am and it's probably not who you are either. It's just a burden that we must carry.
He's still giving me the silent treatment and I'm thinking of texting him that I must interpret his non-response to my request that he not to see the slut again as refusal.
And as he continues seeing her, I'll take the liberty from now on to accept dates when I'm asked out.
I agree with the others. Don't stoop to his low. I have felt the same thing and still do. I want revenge myself. I am in the anger stage. Today I had to take half Xanax, I cried for a while then took the pill. I still cried but a little less. I am not a drug person but if I have to take a pill to keep myself out of jail I will do it. I was so angry I could have done something drastic to him today. I am too reasonable though. Which is a good thing. No man/woman is worth giving my freedom up for.
Now also don't be so hard on yourself with the baby weight thing. my aye hole husband cheated on me and I am a thin person, and considered attractive as well. His whore is very ugly. These WS do not even look at what they are fucking, very often they are dogs. These WS are broken and it will not matter how thin you are if they are fked up in the head. They will justify their A because they are sick people. Tiger Woods had a beautiful wife and look what He did.