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Newest Member: whyowhy147 (55408)

User Topic: unanswered questions
♂ 43980
Member # 43980
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do you know if questions you have asked are answered truthfully? During the year my wife was having her affair she was suppose to have been off birth control because we were trying to conceive. She didn't get pregnant that whole year which has me thinking she was still taking birth control. I have a hard time believing that she was having sex with me and the other guy for a year and didn't get pregnant. One month after she stopped talking to him because I found an email and went off, she got pregnant. If she would still lie 2 1/2 years later about this, what else is she lying about

Married 16 years
DDay Dec 24, 2011
3 kids
13,8, 1

Posts: 13 | Registered: Jul 2014
♀ 43773
Member # 43773
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I would suspect the same... Are you guys in marriage and individual counseling? My thought process on it was that it is a second type of betrayal, as any couple going through fertility issues is already consumed with stress, anxiety, and sometimes guilt related to it - and that she'd put you through that knowing she was on birth control would be a double whammy blow.

It is possible that he used a condom specifically because she was not on BC. But it's really hard to know the answer to this if you feel she's holding truth back

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” - Dumbledore

Posts: 3875 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: California
♂ 43980
Member # 43980
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She said they didn't use condems. But she swears that she was off birth control

Married 16 years
DDay Dec 24, 2011
3 kids
13,8, 1

Posts: 13 | Registered: Jul 2014
♀ 38121
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Broken, no disrespect intended, but what kind of imbecile uses NO birth control at ALL when they're sexually active with TWO different men???? Was she vying for a spot on Maury and a DNA test???

It's hard to believe that any woman could be so utterly selfish and foolish that she'd gamble with their own baby's paternity and take a chance on sticking you with a kid that may not even be yours, all so she could indulge herself in her affair. I don't even have any words for that type of behavior.

If what she's saying is true, it's utterly reprehensible that she would do that to you and an innocent baby.

For her sake as a human being, I hope she's lying about not being on birth control.

Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 6327 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
♂ 16345
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Worrying about paternity is a extra gift of a affair we BH get.

I cant speak to your situ directly but I do think that no BS can ever be sure they have the truth. Even whats been answered by our WS. I think that if my WW can lie and get away with it. she will. Then there are all thing things where we dont know what we dont know.

In the end acceptance is the only way I have found to deal with this. It happened. I probably dont know all that went on. and I probably never will know.

Its just another shitty fact of life.

Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
♂ 43930
Member # 43930
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agreed. You may never truly know the full truth and may always have to deal with doubts.
Trust what you gut is telling you. I believe we all have built in bull shit detectors, just have to dial in and follow your instincts.

So live your life that fear of death can never enter your heart.

Posts: 78 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: NY
Topic Posts: 6

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