It seems like a few centuries since I've been here. And… well… it has. I only recognize a few names. I lived here in first days, weeks, months and
years (I'm a slow-learner) after the D-Days.
I began here as a lost, confused, hurt-beyond-belief, victim-of-life who was going to stick with my WH through sickness and health 'til death doest part. The longer and tighter I held on, the worse it got. He never changed; I did.
So, I let go.
There's more to the story. The basics: multiple OWs, D-days too numerous to count and pain unlike anything I have ever experienced.
I just wanted to let everyone know it gets better in amazing ways you could never imagine. (As a newbie here, I HATED when people would say that.)
I am officially divorced now -- something I never thought I could say with a giant smile on my face. I'm the girl who married young and married for life, for the white picket fence, for the life in the suburbs, for big holidays and family dinners, for the life I thought I wanted. Divorce has given me so much more than that.
XWH is living with or doing whatever with OW#1. He looks like walking death. Life hasn't been good to him.
Since my first D-Day, which seems like a million years ago, I have completed my Master's degree, traveled over 7,000 miles on road trips with just my kids and me, bought my first car (all by myself!), started earning my own money (I was a SAHM for 15 years with no income of my own when I filed for divorce), traveled internationally, and started dating again.
The pain and hurt still raises its ugly head occasionally. I walk through it. I am still in counseling because this shit doesn't go away overnight. It takes gut-wrenching work. And I really don't want to carry my baggage into new relationships.
Sometimes, I slip back into the "what might have been's" but mostly I have learned to smile and laugh and enjoy the beauty of life.
It gets better, regardless what path your journey takes you.