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Couldn't get a hold of WH, panicked...false alarm...

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callmesteph posted 7/4/2014 20:00 PM

I drove to LA for surgery earlier this week and my WH stayed back to work. I have many friends and family here to help take care of me after surgery so we agree for him to fly and meet me tomorrow (Saturday) so he could help me drive home next week.
I tried to call him at 4:30pm repetitively today and could not get a hold of him. Did not answer my texts either.

I panicked.....haven't done that for months. I asked my friend to come over my house to check to see if he was at home as there was the possibility he was sleeping. If he lied that he was at home then I would also have evidence. She checked and he was not home.

Thirty minutes later, after endless anxiety filled moments he called to tell me that he just landed at LAX airport and wanted to surprise me a day early. He had called to ask my niece my hotel room number earlier in the day but of course I was not in on it.

So I am here...,,part relief but part sad that I have to feel this way because of what he did. I guess it's normal to feel this way afterward the betrayal that we go thru.

I also feel very happy that it was a false alarm! Thought I share just in case others want to chime in on similar experiences!

Happy 4th to all you wonderful folks here on SI.

Schadenfreude posted 7/4/2014 20:17 PM

At least he showed up in LA before your blood pressure hit sky high!

Please be kind. He truly was showing he cares.

callmesteph posted 7/4/2014 20:31 PM

Schadenfreude.....LOL....I'm sure my BP and HR was up there along with everything else! Unfortunately, he paid an arm and a leg for last minute changes on a holiday.

NeverAgain2013 posted 7/5/2014 08:24 AM

That was a lovely surprise that he came a day early!

You know, it took me a long, long time to finally stop involuntarily triggering about certain things or actions that had always caused me anxiety. Over time, you find yourself not reacting as deeply as you used to. I think with time and the security you're slowly rebuilding once more, you'll see one day you won't react nearly as much as you did this time.

Schadenfreude posted 7/5/2014 10:12 AM

Glad you are feeling better about the situation.

But I am confused. YOU are having surgery but drove. HE is just visiting but flew? Isn't that a little backwards?

callmesteph posted 7/5/2014 10:14 AM

NeverAgain2013.....I used to be such a carefree person, very independent of WH actions. PostA....every little red flag spontaneously stimulates a verification reaction since that complete trust is no longer present.

I think with time and the security you're slowly rebuilding once more, you'll see one day you won't react nearly as much as you did this time.

Thank you for that...I can't wait til that day comes!

callmesteph posted 7/5/2014 11:29 AM again! Yes my life seems backwards in many respect :). It's just that we don't have family where we live and I preferred to drive since I have 3 kids that love to be around cousins their age down south (BTW my WH can not handle watching the kids x1 wk by himself!). So H flies to see me for a couple days...while I get clearance from the surgeon 7 days post-op then he would drive us home instead of flying.

Hope that clarifies the confusion and thank you for your concern....I was also very "kind" to him for surprising me early!

P.s. He did offer to drive us to LA (8 hrs drive) but I didn't think it was necessary so I declined. Although I had to go under, the surgery wasn't life threatening to warrant his presence.

Schadenfreude posted 7/5/2014 11:38 AM

Gotta try to have a little humor here that isn't A related, right?

callmesteph posted 7/5/2014 11:41 AM

Absolutely! Humor and laughter helps heal so much! Although my story doesn't sound funny now, I'm sure someday I will look back and feel the irony and humor in it.

hopefull77 posted 7/5/2014 12:31 PM

good luck with your surgery!
hope the kids can get to the's hot in this half of the state!

callmesteph posted 7/5/2014 12:40 PM

hopefull77.....thank you. Surgery and recovery is going well. We will be hanging out at my sister's house who have a pool. The beach sounds really nice...too bad I'm told to stay out of the sun :(.

hopefull77 posted 7/5/2014 18:07 PM

Umbrella Steph..umbrella!!!
Seriously though glad all went well!

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