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Newest Member: Howtotrust (61551)

User Topic: 6 months out & still hurts like hell
♀ 41924
Member # 41924
Default  Posted: 3:11 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

D day was 6 months ago and I still think about it daily most days I don't give it more than 2 minutes thought but others I cry. Some days I bawl, I thought it wuld b much better by now, but here I am. Snuck out of bed And just bawled for an hour out of nowhere I hate that this eats up my life sometimes. I hate that my a$$ of a WH brought another woman into my life and my home and worse my bed I shuld not laying in MY bed thinkng of another woman. I am tired of hurting, my heart physically feels like there's a hole In it

WH: 39/BW:Me,32
Married 14 years in March, 2 Beautiful children 8 & 12
D-Day: Xmas Eve 2013-worst day of my life

"The most expensive thing in th world is TRUST, it takes years to earn and just a matter of seconds to lose"

Posts: 102 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: santa rosa ca
♀ 43520
Member # 43520
Default  Posted: 3:19 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He inthedark--I'm six months out too--yesterday the 4th of July was my six month anniversary and I know exactly how you feel. Sucks. Totally totally sucks. I thought I'd be so much further down the road to recovery by now but I can see that the books and other SI are all correct--it's going to be a minimum of 2 years and probably more.

If I were you I'd drag that bloody bed outside and light it on fire.

Just saying.


Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

Posts: 2836 | Registered: May 2014
♀ 39682
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 5:48 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't have any good advice right now but wanted you to know this is normal. I think we all hope we can heal faster but it takes as long as it takes. Be gentle with yourself. I'm just over a year and I still cry sometimes and I do think about it everyday multiple times a day.

This is HARD!! Are you in IC? I found it a great place to dump all my thoughts and my C helped me navigate through the tough stuff.


Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R

Posts: 876 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


6mos into this, things are still raw and can be all consuming. I would flip between sobbing and being in a zombie like state. Please go easy on yourself. Can you get rid of the bed and buy a new one? If that is not feasible, maybe buy a mattress topper, new sheets, etc...? Something to make it less of a trigger. Sending you strength.

Posts: 50811 | Registered: Mar 2011
♀ 43241
Member # 43241
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DDay was end of January, so just over 5 months, I'm still hurting as well, and wish I was further along. The tears are less often, but hit me unexpectedly still..

I broke down this week when I confirmed WH flew to OW town for the holiday. We just listed our house for sale and all the emotions caught me. Sad to leave our beautiful home, mad he has to put OW as first priority over house responsibilities, mad that I'm rejected and replaced, mad he can throw our life aside so easily, scared because I have no income except alimony and child support starting July 1 and afraid I have no place to live or a job in the future.

So many unknowns and I feel like all of this change was forced upon me. It comes down to feeling like I wasn't right, not enough, not worth fighting for, and that just hurts.

I need to find a better IC and continue to build my self esteem, strength, and independence. I know we all can do this, get through these low points and rise above. We are honest, loving people that are recovering from very traumatic life changing events. Keep looking to the future with hope. Me too.

D-Day 1/24/14
D-Day2 04/08/14, false R
17yrs married, 23yrs together
Two kids in middle school
Divorced 10/2014

Posts: 203 | Registered: Apr 2014
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know it's hard to still have the pain. But it sounds like you have some good days too. Hold onto that. The balance of good days to bad will keep shifting favorably. Just remember that it is a trauma and that healing is not linear. But you are processing what's happened. You are moving forward, even when you are still bent over crying. Trust in the process.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4324 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Topic Posts: 6

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