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Today DD and I went to a bday party for a little girl from DD's old school and my old job. I knew before going to the party that XAP and his family would not be there and were not invited...I am good friends with the mother of the birthday girl and she knows all about my A so I made sure to ask her when we got the invite.

There were a few other families there from the daycare; another mom who was a great support to me throughout the A and my separation with my BH. The other two families know only what my letter said when I left the daycare; I had taken a new job in a different field. These parents seemed happy to see me and asked how DD is doing and how I like my new job.

My BH knew we were going to the party and was ok with it. ...he couldn't go though cuz he had to work.

DD had a great time at the party: she swam like a little fish in the pool and played with her old friends...she and I even stayed after the party ended and ate dinner with her friend and her family.

Although the day was a success I am just over it...I have only remained in contact with the two moms I mentioned, because our daughters get along so well and both of the moms were supportive and nonjudgemental....but part of me feels that even holding on to these friendships are still keeping me tied to the past...we never bring up XAP or his family, but its still there cuz its still a reminder to me.

It just felt so fake to me....talking to the other parents about my new job and how happy I am...all of which is true, but the reason why I left just disgusts me...I feel like such a dirty person and cant help but wonder what they would think if they ever learned the truth...

All three of our girls are going to start kindergarten in September. ..they will each be going to different schools and im sure wont see each other as often. I think its time for me to use this transition as a way to cut ties with the girls and their moms...cuz even though they had nothing to do w the A I think its still better for me to just move on.

I have no real question or anything with this post...just wanted to share. ...if anyone has been in similar situations I would love to hear it.

Alyssa,

I can kind of relate to your situation. We recently moved back to the area where my As happened. We were lucky enough to move out of the area 3 years ago and get kind of a new start. New people, clean slate, nobody knew anything, few triggers. It was nice in that respect but we missed our old area and recently moved back.

I am so happy to be back, but there have been moments...running into people from the past, people from my old job who maybe knew, maybe didn't but it's definitely hanging in the air for us again living in this area.

Here's the thing----I guess I don't care much. We are happy and I refuse to keep my head down. Anybody who I run into from the past now, I just keep it light and casual and go on with my day.

Like you, I am over it. Done with that, moving on, being me and comfortable in my skin. The rest doesn't matter .