My biggest issue still is that he actually used my need for a friend to bring the OW into our house and befriend me and her kids and ours became friends. They had a PA in my house. He has issues with my weight (honestly I am a size 12 and was an 6-8 when we got married so we aren't talking HUGE weight gain here) but she is bigger than me. I keep trying to tell myself that it wwasn't her pyhsical appearance, it was how she made him feel. Something he said he wasn't getting from me. She made him feel special.
I just don't know. We have done some MC but haven't in awhile. I just don't know what else to say. We do talk. I just still feel so betrayed. It was a double betrayal because it was a "friend" and my spouse. R does well for a few months and then I hit this funk again...
I am just not sure it is worth staying together somedays. I love him but am I IN love with him. Am I still just staying for the kids?
They are both extremely lucky to have you as spouses when they were wayward. You're justified in your feelings, just honour them, be with them, ask what they need and try to tend to them with your husband's assistance. Do whatever you feel you need to do, or want to do with his help. Maybe something harmless (massage, treat, shopping etc) to make you feel special :)
About 4 months out he had a break down, I think the withdrawal from her really hit him, and we talked about doing D instead of R. To this day he claims that he doesn't want a D. That he always told her he wasn't trading his kids for hers. What does that mean? He was willing to carry on this PA and EA for years until it was OK to D?? tl502.. you are right that he has maintained it was this fantasy that just went too far. Um, you think?
I chave read other posts on here and many that say says that WH wants to R are X,Y,Z and my WH has done them all right fromt he start. Maybe that is what bothers me? It was almost too easy for him to get away with it and still keep me?