How do I not drive him away but not hide all the hurt?
Gently, he's done so much to drive you away from him, and you're living apart. Why are you worried about driving him away? He's already 'away'.
What has he done to win you back? Is he NC with his ow? Has he started IC with the explicit goal of changing from cheater to good partner?
We already know he's not answering questions, so he's still dishonest, lying to you. Since you're not sure that he's out of the A, I assume he's not transparent.
He's not a candidate for R yet, so you should be proud of yourself for not being ready for him to move back. Unless he becomes a candidate for R, the best way to get rid of your pain is to get rid of him.
Have you considered the 180?
What do you see in him, BTW?