(((((Notmycircus))))) I am so sorry you are here but know that you have come to the right place. First of all, you are right ~ you need to sleep. Have you tried OTC sleep aids? Are you open to seeing your doctor and sharing what you are going through? For myself and many of us, I relied on xanax the first couple of weeks because I needed to sleep in order to function. So do you.
How are you eating and drinking? Please try your best to stay hydrated even if it with smoothies or ensure. You also need to be tested for STD's.
I don't know what to do. That's ok. Your only responsibility right now is to take care of you. You DO NOT need to make any decisions regarding your marriage. Please focus on your health both physical and mental.
He is making suicidal threats? You cannot control him. Regardless of your decision on the relationship, does not determine what he CHOOSES to do with his life. You can encourage him to go to counseling. You can inform his doctor. You can tell him that you will call the police since he is a danger to himself.
If he ends up on the street due to his choices and consequences, again, that is on him. He is a grown man. He will figure something out.
He did not consider your well being when he chose to betray you. Therefore, YOU need to take care of YOU.
I would encourage you to read from "The Healing Library" in the upper left hand corner of SI. Read and post often. Do you have IRL support? Individual therapy?
I just want my husband back the way he used to be. I know, sweetie. I know. But do you really want to be in a relationship like this "...but he has always threatened to leave me at the drop of a hat so I don't know if he really means it." Take some time to get physically rebalanced (sleep, hydration, eating) before you make any decisions. Sending you strength and sleep.