SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

When I was leaving my office today I passed a guy on the street who asked me if the daycare was open (my agency has playgroup for children once a week). He saw me come out of the building and he was going in...Thinking he was asking a serious question I explained playgroup is on Thursdays. He laughed and said "I was kidding. Im not a kid...im going to the computer lab."

As I was walking to my car he said " nice dress. You make it even more beautiful. "

I said thank you, got in my car and left.

I dont get compliments often so I didnt know if this is how to take one appropriately. I didnt want to be rude and totally ignore him....especially cuz my office is in a somewhat scary part of the city and I never know who is nice and who is sketchy.

That sounds like a perfect response to me. "Thank you", get in your car and leave. Just don't take any ego kibble with you.

Agree- do not take the ego kibble! I do not want a compliment from a man other than BH ever again. I think a man that compliments a married woman on her appearance is creeping and trolling. So I don't mind being rude!!

Since the affair, I dress much more conservatively, avoid talking to men as much as I can, am never alone with a man and avoid unnecessary eye contact. I can look back and see how clothes and my friendly behavior gave off a certain (unintended) vibe and I never want that again.

My planned response to anything like this is , "my husband sure thinks so."

I've used it a couple times...,

From a stranger? I would have ignored.

I also throw in the husband line, when responding to a compliment from an acquaintance.

If it is a stranger and I am walking away, I ignore. If it is said to my face, I might say thank you, depends. I have walked away from that too.

By someone I know, I will say thank you.

Ya know I thought about the husband line but it was after the fact. ...I had already driven away at that point. But if it ever happens again I will definitely use it.

I absolutely didnt take any ego k ibbles away w me...as soon as he started talking to me I was uncomfortable.

I get the thing about dressing conservatively but certainly dont think there was anything revealing or inappropriate with my dress....it was a simple knee length summer dress....it was 90 out today!! :)

I do not want a compliment from a man other than BH ever again.

My BH's compliments are only the ones that matter to me anymore to me too. I light up when he compliments me. I realized that I was relying too much on other people's compliments to make me feel good about myself. I also have learned that I don't always need a compliment from BH. When I am feeling kind of crappy, I sometimes solicit a compliment from BH, but I am learning to not rely external validation - I need to learn to love myself. Sorry for the t/j.

[This message edited by pizzalover at 12:20 PM, July 15th (Tuesday)]