If so, how did the transformation from friends to more occur?
There is this nice looking young gentleman that I am friends with. It has just dawned on me how damn good looking he is. I sometimes think about what if we could be more.
[This message edited by sparkysable at 1:37 PM, July 8th (Tuesday)]
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
Since my house burned down / I now own a better view / of the rising moon.
- Mizuta Masahide
So this young man of which you speak, does he talk to you pretty openly about other women? Does he tell you how head over heels he may be with someone? If not, that may be a good indication he possibly harbors romantic feelings for you, too.
I think it may be time for a one-on-one kind of situation!
If so, ask him casually the next time you get together if he'd like to grab dinner. If you guys hang out, I don't see that as being too forward or pushy.
If not, then I need more info.
Irishgirl he has never talked about other women to me. He is pretty quiet though.
He is a BS also. We were all friends in our group when we were both married. Obviously our WS's were shunned by our group of friends once the affairs came out. My d-day and d was first, so when his d-day came I gave him advice and d advice also.
So for about a year and a half we would occasionally, about once or twice a month or so get together with our kids. We both have daughters the same age.
One day I looked over at him, and it suddenly struck me! Daaaaaammmmnnnnn he is cute! I never really realized it before.
His d -day was about a year and a half ago and his divorce was just finalized last month.
We have only ever done things together with the kids, never just the two of us. Oh and he is 8 years younger than me!
Over time, I found we were doing more and more things together...we hung out in the same friend group and we would dance together once in a while and he even went Christmas shopping with me and he was so patient!
It hit me when I had a pair of shoes I couldn't decide on whether to purchase or not, and I sent HIM the picture of them asking if he thought I should get them.....I sent him the pic, not my bff or any of my female friends, and that night I didn't have anything to do and he invited me over, and we have been dating now for a year and a half.
Best decision I ever made. I know what he is made of because we were just friends first and he was actually dating a different friend when we first met....and then when they broke up, we became confidants because I had broken up with my XSO at the same time, so we helped each other over the heartbreak, remained good friends, and found we had a lot in common after all.....
ETA: Oh, the funny thing is, that we both dated a few others during the year we were just friends, and I even tried to help hook him up with another girl. I really loved him as just a friend until he made it clear that the age difference didn't matter because we are so alike in our belief system and what we want from a relationship and from the future and I decided to be open enough to listen to him.
[This message edited by NaiveAgain at 9:04 AM, July 9th (Wednesday)]
He'd been separated for more than a year at that point and had considered his marriage over for 11 years (as soon as his wife said she wasn't sleeping with him anymore. I asked him why he didn't leave or cheat at that point. He said he didn't leave because he was the primary (only) caregiver of the children. And he doesn't cheat.
So I have been multitasking for over a year, processing grief and joy. The two of us married on Valentines Day.
[This message edited by hit-by-a-train at 5:06 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)]
***Used to be hit-by-a-train***