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needadvise posted 7/8/2014 13:44 PM

Not only I have been dealing with a WH who had cheated all the time. Now are finances are a mess. Still trying to recover from my accident. On top of taking prozac for depression from him always cheating and never had a clue. Now our health insurance is canceled. My brother is getting married next week. Whom I'm very close to and I'm stressing on how to be able to make it to his wedding. And all I want to do is pick up and leave this entire mess behind me.
Yesterday I had so much anxiety, my chest felt heavy, I was so afraid to leave the house and the tears just wanted to flow once again.. I feel as though my life has just taken a turn for the worse and I blame it all on the WH. When this nightmare begin that I can't get away from.
I feel as though my life had become so very worthless at this point.
Please somebody tell me what to do?

funnyguy posted 7/8/2014 14:00 PM

I feel for you and I have been and said the exact same things the TT has been the worst. I always tell myself it can worse. I still ge tthose chest pains just not as frequent. Once you except this has happened to you it will get better. for the cest pains put both hands on your chest where it hurts the most and take deep breaths, this helped me , its like you are protecting your heart. becasue that is what is hurting .

Jrazz posted 7/8/2014 14:07 PM

Do you have anyone else you can lean on for support at your brother's wedding? A best friend, maybe?

As for depression meds, it's really important that you keep taking them as prescribed by your doctor. Sometimes pharmacies will have programs for people paying cash... I think Walgreens does.

Also, are you able to enroll in COBRA? That is expensive but can give you a buffer for the next month or so.

It sounds like you have sooooo much to bear right now, and I'm really sorry. Don't feel bad about taking as much time and space as you need for yourself. I know it sounds ridiculous, but exercise is a miracle anti-depressant sometimes. Just getting out and walking helped me shake off some of the worst of it.

We're here for you. Keep exploring your options and know that you are not alone.


RiseAbove22 posted 7/8/2014 14:24 PM

I struggle too.......

JerseyCowgirl posted 7/8/2014 14:34 PM

Concentrate on one thing...get to your brother's wedding. You are close to him & this will help surround you with those that love you. You need that right now. Put everything else on the back burner so to speak & take some time off for your family. I'll keep you in my thoughts & hope that while you take some time off some of your other problems may solve themselves. You need a break for awhile

soccermom9 posted 7/8/2014 21:22 PM

Hang in there! We are all here to help any way we can!!

needadvise posted 7/9/2014 08:00 AM

Thank you for your responses all. I'm sure some of us have been here, it just seems like I'm stuck and I'm never going to get out of this terrible mess in all areas of my life.
So now I'm being asked to help with planning a surprise 50th anniversary party for the in laws. I don't think I can do it, here's why. Last year in April is when I found out my husband was telling an older bartender woman that he loves her, buying her dinner, flowers, taking her to his hotel room (working out of town FOR MY BROTHERS BUSINESS which Yes i told my brother to fire him:) telling her he wants to be with her. WHILE I'm back home working 50+ hours a week. Within the last year I've had several DDays. Only to learn he has always been a cheater. Also planning a benefit dinner for his bro in law that died of camera month later. Raised a huge amount of money for his nephews to have for college.
Here's the trigger his sister n mom get mad at me. Due to the agreement of where I had this benefit and the house committee members. If his bro n law should pass away the money would be put away for his sons college. So my Wh sister, who drinks everyday n is irresponsible and his mom got upset with me because I wouldn't hand the money to his sister for her to do whatever and end up with nothing for her boys.
And now she wants me to help again with a family who have all burned me except for my father n law.
I really don't think I can do it. And I will not lie for the reason why I can't.

[This message edited by needadvise at 8:11 AM, July 9th (Wednesday)]

doggiediva posted 7/9/2014 12:13 PM

Don't give any reason that you can't help with the planning of the party..I have a feeling some of the assistance requested is of a financial nature too..Just say no, that you don't have the health/stamina/resources and leave it at that....What do you owe these people ( in laws) ? For sure you don't owe them any rationale for saying no..

needadvise posted 7/9/2014 12:15 PM

Totally agree with you Diva. Thank you.

Txmomof2 posted 7/9/2014 20:20 PM

I found out about my spouses affair almost a year ago. It's been ended for this time. However there are days I still get so angry. I still want to ask why did you? Did you care about her? Questions for some reason I feel the need to know but wonder if I'm being selfish? Everytime we argue(not that often) now I get upset & immediately think he's thinking of her. I'm sure I own this but how long does it take to feel better. Is there hope that we can get thru this? We've been married 20 years & this is the 1st time & better be last!!

hihn posted 7/9/2014 21:24 PM

I don't have much in the way of advice. Just wanted to tell you that your life isn't worthless at this point, not at any point. Your life very much has value and so do you! I think we all, whether we are BSs or WHs, want pick up & leave sometimes. My mind screams "run, run away now!" at least once a weak if not more. But then my WH does something that shows promise and hope is renewed. Then the coward in me is kept at bay for just a little longer. I hope you get to get away to your brothers wedding. Sounds like you could use the diversion and some time away from your dysfunctional in-laws.

ProbableIceCream posted 7/9/2014 22:40 PM

prozac is extremely cheap these days -- most grocery store pharmacies, for example, should carry it for.. i'm not sure, maybe $9 for a 90-day supply (generic)?

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