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stunning realization today

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deena04 posted 7/8/2014 19:09 PM

So in talking with my kids today about random things, it appears my youngest is being bullied by my WS's daughter / stepsister to my son. She is 18, he is 9. She puts him down and accuses him of things when I am not in the room. I found this out today, but have had suspicions she is not always honest and polite due to other things. WS doesn't want to believe it. I have pointed out things before, but now that my son is crying to me and already has a pretty sensitive side, I want to let her have it! I told him to handle it and tell her to leave her bullshit away from my kids. My older son verified he overheard something along this line, but thought I had known and handled it so it's not storytelling. What would you do? My WS truly is chickened of his own kids, which is another issue to address. I am the badass sadly. This realization made me stop and think maybe making him move and separating his and my kids is ok after all. I had guilt over the blended family thing before, and it would be hard to split them, but maybe it's best since neither WS or their "mother" (and I use that term loosely based on her inability to parent her kids) will act like parents and their kids think they are in charge!

[This message edited by deena04 at 7:10 PM, July 8th (Tuesday)]

soccermom9 posted 7/8/2014 21:16 PM

wow does this sound familiar!!! I am in a similar situation with blended family and kids/stepkids. I have not figured out what to do yet with the already explosive kid situation, lack of parenting by WH and now the infedility!! Hopefully we can get thru this somehow!

deena04 posted 7/8/2014 21:53 PM

It stunned me because she has always been a bit cold, but not blatantly mean to my knowledge. Like I said she won't do it in front of me because I won't stand for it. It's dad that allows disrespect. I don't put up with it from my kids or his-teacher by trade so rules and appropriate behavior are my musts. My little guy was very sad and afraid to say something. I won't have him be sneakily put down, accused of doing things he doesn't and scared in his own home. Not happening! Dad has 24 hours to inform her of this coming out, handle it, and appropriately deal or I will!

jjct posted 7/8/2014 21:55 PM

Good for you! (in the sense of things)

See this as an opportunity - to make it about him - and trusting his gut. (and those that love him truly). Validate them!
What great boys you have!
I think it comes from somewhere mama!

Ostrich80 posted 7/9/2014 00:55 AM

Wow Deena, I would be way pissed, at ws for not handling his DD. What is your relationship like with SD? Will she listen to you? I wonder if she's acting out due to the things going in with the adults in her life. Maybe she's afraid of losing you or a stable home. I don't condone what she did at all, she's old enough to know better. Has she been good to your lil guy in the past? I know blended families can have their own set of issues, . I gotta hand it to you, I know it can't be easy.

deena04 posted 7/9/2014 06:49 AM

She has been off and on with me. Since I am the only set of rules she really gets, it's a love-hate deal. She doesn't like someone telling her that she has expectations, but can get along just fine. She gets along most of the time with the kids, but has moments as any sibling group does. I just don't know, but tonight I handle it if he hasn't.

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