SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

(this is sort of a continuation of the trip thread, but it's not a trip any more, it's settling in)

So... as I may have already mentioned, my daughter is starting school here in a couple months. So she needs a decent school. And since I'm a single parent, she needs after school care. Which I'm used to doing, but the place I come from has a huge amount of housing and after school care's never hard to find.

Anyway, I found a place that I'd be willing to live for at least a few months and turned in a rental application. Then I checked on the after school care available at the local school. Completely full.

I'll have to check third parties I guess. I also have some other places to look at. But man, this is getting frustrating. I'm sure I can get this done eventually, but it is so much harder than I'm used to back where I came from. So I'm working on it pretty hard every day when I feel up to it and I guess stopping when I get too tired. Since I'm also recovering from stress and lining up my next job, since my current project is winding down.

I know this is probably easy for some people, but it's new and hard for me. Life experience, eh?

I can't believe after school care is full!

I found child care referral phone lines for the counties around here, so that'll help. All this new stuff at the same time (relocating to a different state, finding a place to live, changing jobs soon, finding child care, looking at schools, etc) is a little stressful...

Even though she is in school, if there there is a Head Start in your area, the instructors there usually know the ins and outs of the child care system in a neighborhood.

Keep checking with after school care. People move over the summer break and often don't remember to notify the care provider that they won't be back. I was one of those parents who utilized after school care only during the school breaks. They never knew I wasn't coming back till just before school started.

Look for alternatives, but keep checking back, ask if there's a waiting list you can join etc. explain your a single dad new to the area- a lot of people are willing to help. Let them.

Good luck,

K

I've contacted both primary programs via email asking about wait list, and I also called the county childcare referral line. I will take a look at head start too. Thanks!

I am very reluctant to sign a lease at a place without knowing there's an opening or an alternate option I'd be willing to use, so... not too complicated, I'll just do my best to find something, and if I can't, I won't live in this particular place.

yeah, you're kid won't be eligible, but the teachers there almost always know what's up with the nearby providers.

Our school's after school care is always full, usually a 6 month wait. Sign up is in March and siblings have first dibs. That said, see if there is a waiting list, over the summer many plans change and openings do occur. Both times I signed up my kids for the first time (first year ended up not needing it) I got slots a couple of weeks before school started up.

Also, there are several moms in my community that provide after school care for a couple of kids on a daily basis. It is pretty much word of mouth and many provide excellent care. Check to see if your school/new community has a facebook page and post your questions there. People aren't shy to post complaints so you may get some good leads and who to stay away from.

GL!

You're doing great, PIC. Putting all the pieces together takes time and energy, and it seems like you've got a good handle on what your priorities are (DD's school and care) and are building the rest around that. The pieces will come together if you keep working it.

Thanks. :)

Wow. I slept a total of 11 hours last night (got up at my usual time, tried to get some things done, couldn't focus properly, fell asleep again, woke up after 4 more hours...)

I must have needed it.

I think I figured out something important. I've been having a lot of symptoms lately consistent with low blood sugar and/or low night time blood sugar... but I've also been skipping a lot of meals. I figured out the low blood sugar connection today, after looking up the symptoms and talking to a friend of mine who has it sometimes. I'm going to stop skipping meals and make sure I have reasonable snacks (nuts, berries, seeds) for between meals, and see if it helps with the symptoms. Before I always figured it was a sleep apnea thing or a meds thing or both..

Stuff's been really screwing with me on some days. :|

Feeling somewhat better. I took today and yesterday off.. like, actually took them off, no stressful things allowed, no looking at houses or jobs online, etc. Went to the beach yesterday. Thinking of taking a third day off, honestly. Also I'm making myself have breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. That's helping too I think.

I have this tendency to push myself really hard and my body/brain, unsurprisingly, do not always cooperate.

I have decided somewhat arbitrarily that my daughter is going to fly out here on Aug 15 or 16, which will give her a couple weeks before school starts to settle in. I really miss her and it's only been like two weeks. Sheesh.

Anyway, I'm giving myself a deadline of Aug 1 for a move in date for housing, so that gives me two weeks to move my carload of stuff in (easy) and pick out some really basic furniture.. bare minimum I'm going to need a bed for me, a bed for her, dining room table and chairs, dining room mat, a desk for the desktop computer, a chair for the desktop computer, basic storage for the bedrooms... maybe having decorations would be nice. I didn't really do that the last place I lived, maybe because I didn't feel like I belonged in that state (my daughter had some stuff in her room, but that's about it).

I don't know how people handle this kind of full restart + kid without spare cash.. actually, I do know, I did it once before when I was completely broke. I got a tax refund and used it to fly my daughter and XWW back from the in laws, to rent a 1 bedroom at $500 a month (daughter got the bedroom), and a friend of mine gave me some really basic furniture. But I figure I have a little more cash this time and I'm trying to make things nice so maybe this is my chance to learn how to do this on my own properly.

I still am not a huge fan of getting more stuff than I need because it makes moving a huge pain, but after that cross country move I have a feeling it won't be that bad...

I honestly think I'm just going to grab rental housing close to a good school fairly close to where I'm likely to be working (and then after that factor commute into desirability of a potential job). I've done this a few times before , so.. that's not too bad. Maybe some day I'll be able to get a house? I've never wanted to do that before, but maybe I can get to the point where I'm functioning well enough to handle that.

Anyway, just some thoughts for today..

I have found some good deals on furniture on Craigslist.

Ahh.. there's a cool symmetry to that. Craigslist took my furniture at the other end, and it gives me back furniture at this end. :)

Still banging my head on this. :(

Have you checked consignment and thrift stores? free cycle?

I should clarify.. I meant finding the place.

Sorry it's so difficult. Keep taking care of yourself!

I'm trying. I've got the sufficient sleep and food part down. Some times are better than others on the cardio. I also will take a break (even if it has to be a full day) if I'm getting overly stressed.

I'm just exhausted today. I went out and did some stuff (I'm parked right now) and I feel like falling asleep. I wanted to get some cardio but that may or may not happen today.

On the bright side I'm feeling a little better about housing.. I'm relaxing my "distance to downtown" and (possibly) budget slightly and that seems to turn up more stuff. There are at least a couple things I won't compromise on though, including school quality.