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Mama_of_3_Kids posted 7/8/2014 21:52 PM

I keep telling myself that working full time will eventually get easier--a year into it and it's no easier than it was on Day 1. I simply force myself to go to work everyday and give it everything I can, because I know I have to. I don't hate my job, but it is fairly stressful with a lot of demand on me. From Aug-March, I work at least two evenings, plus 40 hours/week (sometimes more than this, depending on the week)...oh the joys of being Salary.

Since Do3K became Youth Leader, the demands have increased on not only him, but also on me(especially with organization and written forms of communication, such as permission slips and letters to parents). It's great that he's been placed into this role; it REALLY fits him well and he absolutely LOVES it I am very proud of him and his passion for it, but the added demand on me is difficult, at times.

The part that I am REALLY struggling with, though, is when I see/hear certain people complain about what their kid did or how they "want to send their kid to boot camp". I would LOVE to be a SAHM, again! I NEVER complained about it, when I was one--it's a hard gig, but I truly LOVED every.single.minute. Even the, "OMGsh, kid had me up until 0200 puking and is now super whiny," moments. It's hard when I see/hear this, because I want nothing more than to be home with my kids.

Being a SAHM just isn't an option, right now. We are very close to paying off all of our debt...we currently have one loan and student loans standing between us and freedom from debt. My student loans are half of my income, every month, and we simply cannot make do without me working. Change of job is difficult, although I have been looking, because I am a Registered Nurse trying to find employment in another field (at this point, nursing isn't an option unless it's as a school nurse, or in a Dr's office--both are few and far between type jobs).

I am feeling rather stuck, as my heart is in one place but my "have to" is in another. I know many, if not most, moms face this struggle and I'm not alone in it. I am just struggling especially hard with it, tonight

confused girl posted 7/8/2014 22:40 PM

I understand that you are trying to pay off your debt and your load will be lighter when that is done. Why are you limiting yourself to nursing only in a school or doctor's office. The wages are market based and you would earn significantly more if you worked in a hospital or nursing home. You could pay off your debt more quickly that way.

As I re-read that it sounds a bit harsh and I certainly don't intend it in that manner. I just wondered.

Hugs to you as you continue on this journey.

Mama_of_3_Kids posted 7/9/2014 06:47 AM

It's a long story, some has to do with reasons that will move this thread to G, while others have to do with this: my grandparents both died from cancer, within two months of each other. Then I worked Tele for a year and ICCU for about four months. I was and still am very burnt out...I cannot go to work knowing that there's a very real chance that one of the patients will code. After my grandparents passed, it became increasingly hard to run a code and keep my crap together. I know there are places like M/S, where codes are few and far between, but I worked there for five years, while in college, and hated every minute.

confused girl posted 7/9/2014 07:15 AM

Some nurses thrive on the adrenaline rush of running a code - some not. I am glad there are all kinds of nurses. We need them all.

I know some days are tougher than others. Blessings to you.

unfound posted 7/9/2014 09:11 AM

oh mama ((( )))). I'd pick you right up, squeeze you tight and pat your head if I could .

I get it. I'm doing the same for mostly the same reasons. while the job I have is amazing and I love it, I miss being home (even though my boys don't "need" or even want * me around sometimes so much anymore). Still, there are days I have to remind myself why I'm doing it, put on adult clothes and grudgingly walk out the door.

just because you're doing it for the right reasons (and you are), doesn't make it easy all the time.

once you're debt free and have options as to what you want to do, I'll be right there whooping and hollering the loudest for you.. till then it just plain sucks, but I'll walk along with you through it, k?

JanaGreen posted 7/9/2014 09:26 AM

((HUGS)) I feel you.

Would love to SAH but my husband is self-employed and my insurance here is too good to give up (at least for now).

I hope you're able to find a way to go back to SAH soon.

norabird posted 7/9/2014 10:58 AM

(((Mo3K)))

I know your kids will appreciate how hard you work for them and it is great that you are modeling responsible fiscal priorities to them. They know how much you love them even though you are working full-time.

inconnu posted 7/9/2014 12:12 PM

(((Mo3k))) it's tough being between the rock and the hard place. Even though my kids are grown and don't need me at home, I miss being a sahm, every day. The long weekends at home make it worse for me, since it gives me a bigger taste of what I'm missing.

I know, not helpful to your situation. But at least you know you're not alone.

jrc1963 posted 7/9/2014 16:13 PM

(((Mama)))

Sorry sweetie.

thebighurt posted 7/9/2014 17:38 PM

(((Mama))) I was a SAHM until the youngest was in school. I know what you mean. I loved it and felt bad that they didn't get to come to our house after school and that I wasn't the one there for them.

Like you, I knew it was the only way. Otherwise, we might not have had a home for them to come to. You are doing the responsible thing. Sadly, telling yourself that doesn't make it any easier or better.

Luckily, I *mostly* had jobs I liked, but that didn't make the changed situation at home any easier to take. Sometimes, being a grownup just stinks.

tushnurse posted 7/9/2014 18:28 PM

Mama I have been in your work shoes.
Brush up your resume and start looking at options you haven't considered in your career. I was an ICU nurse and still 14 years later still think like one. Giving it up was hard but I couldn't do the mandatory 12 hour shifts with the kids being toddlers it just didn't work.
I did a summer of agency while I looked for something that was hourly and 8 hour shifts. Ended up in endoscopy. What a freaking awesome job. Low stress, fast pace, hands on, rare call that someone was almost always ready to pick up.
Being a nurse really does give you waaaaaaayyyyyy more options than most other careers. Most hospitals and offices are looking for RN to do care management or case management, your experience is a shoe in for it. With the changes that have come with medicare and ACO's they are looking for any way to keep folks out of the hospital and that is a ton of patient teaching with the flexibility of being salaried.
Brush up the resume get on monster and start looking. You will find something.
It's frustrating I know but I absolutely love what I do and the stress level is nonexistent.

Mama_of_3_Kids posted 7/9/2014 21:14 PM

Thank you, everyone.

I put in my application for about 10 positions, today (all either Case Management, Education, or RN Office jobs). They're out there, but they're also highly sought after. I am going to keep looking; in the mean time my boss and I will be having a come to Jesus discussion, b/c the demand is more than is reasonable for one person.

tushnurse posted 7/10/2014 08:25 AM

Good for you Mama - In my area it used to be to get into case management you had to have experience, but now the demand is much higher.

I currently do Outpatient Care Management. I work in an MD office, and 25% of what I do is wellness stuff for employees and families. 75% of what I do is with seniors and management of chronic illnesses, and making sure they have what they need to be successful at home.

If full time is too much some systems offer job sharing in these areas too. I worked with 4 girls who did this, between the 4 of them they = 2 FTE's.

Tammy1 posted 7/10/2014 10:14 AM

I understand. I want to work part-time, but in teaching it's hard to find. I'm so stressed out and not looking forward to the school year starting again soon.

purplejacket4 posted 7/10/2014 15:30 PM

I don't know where you live but make sure you investigate the college health's in your area. I'd live someone with your qualifications. No coding here just lots and lots of STDs and URIs!

sisoon posted 7/10/2014 18:38 PM

Best of luck, M_o_3_K, and a hug: (((M_o_3_K))).

Mama_of_3_Kids posted 7/10/2014 21:42 PM

Thanks everyone.

Without giving away where I work...part of my job is to work with kids, during the summer, doing a one hour teaching session. One of the places I am going is in the poorest part of the city (which, coincidentally is the second poorest neighborhood in the state). We are talking about making good choices (teamwork, being different, being good stewards of resources, saving money, etc); today, we talked about saving money and how that we can buy the things we need, and sometimes what we want, but that it's also important to save money. I gave each of them a piggy bank (donated by a local bank) and we gave the piggy's collars, with bells (a piece of ribbon with a bell on it). These kids LOVED their piggy's and kept saying, "Thank you SO MUCH, Miss Mo3K!" I absolutely love these kids and I am sad that I only have two weeks left with them

It occurred to me, on the way home, that *THIS* is where my heart is...it is with kids who are at risk for drug/alcohol abuse, poverty, etc. I absolutely LOVE this part of my job. I am trying to think if there are any areas of nursing that I could work in a place where I can make that kind of a difference. I'm considering WIC and low income clinics...any other ideas???

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