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LA44 posted 7/8/2014 22:10 PM

My dad hasn't had a drink since I turned 10. That was 36 years ago. I am staying with them right now for summer holidays and went upstairs to make some toast. His mug was sitting on the toaster....

God, grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Why am I doing pretty well at 19 months? I think there are a lot of reasons but I am guessing that this AA mantra has been in my head for decades now. It must have made an impact. No doublt settled somewhere in my brain and got comfortable. I think watching Dad get sober, get a life and move heaven and earth to be a wonderful Dad has helped me understand that people can change. If they work hard enough, it is possible.

I include myself in this whole process of working hard too.

Goodnight, SI friends.
LA

FixYou71 posted 7/9/2014 01:45 AM

Serenity, acceptance, courage and wisdom: something we should all crave and strive for. I know I do. How much better would life be if we could exist there?

Thanks for sharing tonight.

JanaGreen posted 7/9/2014 09:30 AM

I think I need a framed copy of the serenity prayer in my house. So wise.

jo2love posted 7/9/2014 13:40 PM

Wise words. Thank you for reminding me of them.

Its Better Now? posted 7/9/2014 13:44 PM

I have been a regular at our local chapter meetings of EA ( Emotions Anonymous )since about 6 months after Dday. In my pre A ego days I would have never considered "lowering" myself to partake in anything resembling a 12 step program. However after having my entire world crushed beyond recognition, and my inflated pride shot all to hell in one afternoon, it has truly been a Godsend. The Serenity prayer has come to mean everything to me, along with my favorite mantra from EA: Just For Today. Just for today I can accept and survive what has been dealt to me. Just for today I can try again to heal and reconcile, Just for today.... Just for today....

ckss4 posted 7/9/2014 13:57 PM

Thanks for sharing that, I needed it.

Sunnydaysahead posted 7/9/2014 14:28 PM

Thanks for sharing....I had a tough morning and the serenity prayer was exactly what I needed to read today. It puts things back in perspective. No matter how much I want to change the past, it isn't going to happen....hoping H and I can find the courage to make all of the necessary changes in our M.

rachelc posted 7/9/2014 15:49 PM

the courage to change the things I can

The hard one....

LA44 posted 7/9/2014 15:56 PM

And I feel like I need to write that last year at this time, I would read the prayer and say, "yeah..okay...maybe one day".

Last year things were so much worse (@ 7 months). We were again visiting my parents. My 17 year old niece was threatening to tell them of the A. She said terrible things to me and to Mr. LA and I could not blame her for her anger. My sister did nothing - "my hands are tied". I was mad at him too. I resented the position I was in but knew my decision to R meant that there were going to be challenging times like this. My bf at the time told me he should not have visited this summer. That he should have "stayed away". She still won't see him.

Days later, my H told my parents. We all sat down together. They thought I had cancer. The worry in their eyes. Then he told them. He apologized for using them to assist in the A. They were crushed. They had treated him like their son.

One year later, things are so much better. Don't get me wrong...I have terrible days when I think about doing this solo. But they are just hours or days and not weeks or months long.

No matter what happens I know that I can only work on being a better version of myself.

I am glad if this has helped you guys. I like, "Just for Today" too It's Better Now.

solus sto posted 7/9/2014 16:19 PM

I come from an AA home, too--so the Serenity Prayer was always somewhere nearby. You know,on a fridge magnet or book marks or mugs. It was an everyday sentiment, but one to which I did not consciously pay a lot of attention.

It's become something I've relied on heavily. So much so that I've distilled it down to a one-word mantra: surrender. I remind myself, on an ongoing basis, to surrender what I can't control. I have the word tattooed inside my left wrist as a reminder.

My son's first tattoo was the first verse of the prayer. I taught it to him when he was working to drag himself from depression post dday. I recently overheard him, this wise adolescent, counsel a friend to let go of what he could not control so that he could focus on the things he could change. (Wise boy, I have.)

So yes---it's my favorite prayer and the foundation of how I try to approach life's challenges.

[This message edited by solus sto at 4:20 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)]

LA44 posted 7/9/2014 21:01 PM

That's beautiful solus sto. Thanks for sharing.

I am going to work on this with my boys little bits at a time.

DixieD posted 7/10/2014 16:34 PM

I almost bought a bracelet with this on it recently. If I was more into wearing jewelry, I would have.

That's wonderful for your dad too LA. I know a few of my dad's friends who stopped drinking in middle age and they are elderly men now. I've had lots of respect for them.

Wise boy indeed, solus sto. Good for him.

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