Welcome to SI, mdiane. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, but you've come to a great place for support. It's going to be hard as hell, but you are going to come out stronger and wiser, I promise.
Right now, with the pain so raw, you need to take care of yourself. I know that everything is hard right now, but just concentrate on resting, drinking water, and eating anything that sounds remotely appetizing.
Read through our Healing Library for tips on how to decide whether you want to reconcile or whether you need some space right now. Remember that you don't have to make any big decisions at this moment. Your mind and body are going to be in a panic for a while - but we have all been there and we stuck around here to help people through it.
Sending you big hugs and strength. We're here for you.