SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

movingforward13 posted 7/9/2014 11:15 AM

Posting here because I can't tell anyone in real life yet...
After being here, learning about infidelity, relationship cycles and etc., I really believed that I just wouldn't find someone else again. My eyes are open, no more red rose glasses. Now that I really understand infatuation, it can't happen to me.

But I guess I was wrong. A guy I briefly dated ten years ago (and have kept in sporadic contact with over the years) opened up to me and told me I was "the one who got away". We were casually dating, nothing serious but he always had a piece of my heart. I definitely wanted it to be more but he PCSed from my area in 2006 and wasn't ready for a relationship. After he told me those words, slowly those red shades came back on my face. I am trying to stay rooted right now just because I don't want to go through another heart break but it is like *butterflies*. All I can think about is him and what could be.

He is stationed in Hawaii but just put in his PCS request for the DC area. He finds out the 22nd what his orders will be and he should be moving September or October. I am trying to think of any real reason this wont work- but I can't think of any. We have had the relationship talks/goals but he is waiting to see what the orders are before setting in stone. He doesn't want to do a long distance relationship while being a Sailor.

It has been 10 years, we both matured a lot since then, have been good friends in passing. He is almost 35, no kids and his mother recently died last year so it has been on his mind to settle down. If he gets to PCS to DC (or any of the surrounding bases), he will stay here for the next 3 years then eligible to retire, which he said he will do. He wants to get married and maybe have a baby (!). I can't believe he gave Uncle Sam almost 20 years... I feel so old.
I guess this won't work out if he doesn't get to come here.

Blah, blah, blah... I am rambling now. I don't know if I am healed yet? Maybe I missed something. These glasses are getting darker by the moment and I think I just saw a heart float by...

[This message edited by movingforward13 at 11:19 AM, July 9th (Wednesday)]

Crescita posted 7/9/2014 11:55 AM

Oh hey Rosie! I’ve got my glasses on too. I try to be a cynic, but in my heart I can’t help but think it sure would be nice if things could stay all nice and pink.

Just take it slowly. You are already plotting babies and retirement. Ooph, me too. But you are just getting reacquainted and he might stuff his socks in the couch like my SO does.

He could be the one, but you don’t know yet, and you don't need to decide tomorrow.

movingforward13 posted 7/9/2014 12:32 PM

I think that may be the only thing that could go wrong--- he doesn't have any kids and I am on the fence if I want any more. We have the same goal of wanting to be married (not necessarily to each other) but we may differ on the kids part.

Infatuation sucks- all of these endorphins are being pumped into my head and it is like I am slowly losing control. Take it slow--- take it slow.... Got to remember that.

Sad in AZ posted 7/9/2014 14:21 PM

I'd prefer you turn it around and think "What could go right?"

You never know till you try. I did, and for me it didn't work out, but it was an incredible ride while it lasted

movingforward13 posted 7/9/2014 18:42 PM

I like that- think positive--- "What can go right?"

WeepingBuddhist posted 7/10/2014 07:23 AM

One day at a time! Enjoy his company and being with someone and ride that endorphin rush!

damncutekitty posted 7/10/2014 10:25 AM

After her first fiancee died, my sister reconnected with a guy she was friends with as a kid. The boy who had stood up in front of their 1st grade class and told everyone he was in love with her, LOL. They didn't keep in touch after high school ended, but he had kept in touch with one of their mutual friends. They are married now and have 2 kids.

Sometimes it works out.