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Newest Member: ceilingfanswitch (50593)

User Topic: What to do with timeline?
♀ 39367
Member # 39367
Stop  Posted: 1:42 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've written it all out and haven't touched it for months. DBH has no desire to read it as I've disclosed everything written there. He wants to have a timeline burning "event."
Anyone done this? Regrets on part of BS after? Helpful?

Actively R

Posts: 31 | Registered: May 2013
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We didn't do this but I think if BH want to do it, you should.

Do not just slay your demons, dissect them and find what they've been feeding on.

Posts: 46505 | Registered: Sep 2007
♀ 33886
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband didn't want a timeline. I did it for me. Once he knew it was written, he did read it. It's still saved in my online journal. Whatever. We both know it's there but it doesn't matter. He doesn't need to see it again. I haven't deleted it. Just haven't thought about it.

If he wants to have a ritualistic burning, go for it. It's been known to happen. Many people have done it. Timelines. Piles of text and email evidence. Paperwork gathered by PIs. Anything else A related.

If he feels he is ready to burn it, don't question him. He wants it. Do it. He's ready. Any regrets would be his to own. Most don't bring it up if they aren't already sure anyway.

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

Posts: 7243 | Registered: Nov 2011
♀ 42327
Member # 42327
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We actually have a burn "pile" that has been accumulated. It includes emails, timelines, clothes that are trigger us. There will come a day when we will burn it, it will happen when he's ready. I don't think he will regret it at all the day he feels strong and healed enough to request for it to happen. Until then it will sit in the back of our closer out of sight, but not out of mind.

1st marriage BS to a xSAWH (36)
2nd marriage WW (34) to BS(Jt8d, 36)
I will face what hurts me and my actions that have hurt myself and others rather than hiding behind fearful justifications of why I should never heal or grow.

Posts: 268 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Midwest
♀ 42807
Member # 42807
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BBF and I also have a burn pile filed with clothes that I wore when I went to see OM. Timeline is not in the pile as I and still constructing my timeline. If he asked me to burn it along with my burn pile I will. We have not burned the pile, but I am hoping by the end of this month.

He, however asked me to get rid of the necklace he bought for me on our first Xmas. It was was a symbol of our love and I had tainted it with infidelity. I falsified our love by never being true with myself or with him. We broke the necklace together. We got a hammer and smashed it. It hurt but it felt good, because it meant that we were starting a new path based on integrity, honest, trust, everything our relationship never had. We are in limbo, but I know he appreciated when I went to him and asked to break it after holding on to it.

WGF - 24
BBF - MercilesslyNuked, 30
DDay 1 - 1/6/14
DDay 2 - 1/23/14

I Am Strong! I Am Beautiful! I Am Smart! I Am Worthy!

Posts: 131 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Colorado
♀ 43533
Member # 43533
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I put mine away. At some time, I hope we can burn it!

Posts: 51 | Registered: May 2014
Topic Posts: 6

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