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Is this PA behaviour...or what?

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AmSoDone posted 7/9/2014 14:59 PM

Please see my previous post (Today is DDay for current events).

I woke up tired but resigned this morning. That's it I thought - just one day at a time.

Then I looked at my phone. 1 missed call from him and a text;
'I think I can get those duty free cigarettes for you. Do you want some?'
(when he first left and I was kind of talking to him he promised me some them and it never materialised)
WTF??? What is wrong with this man? After yesterdays events what the hell would make him think I want anything from him?
A few hours later he text: 'Do you want some or not?'
Is it me or is this not odd behaviour?

I didn't respond (of course) and have no intention of talking to him again but seriously I what the hell?

7yrsflushed posted 7/9/2014 15:41 PM

Beware the hoover...it comes in all shapes and sizes. Keep ignoring the texts. It's a way to get ego kibbles from you. If you respond it opens the door for him to keep talking to you on some level. He gets the ciagrettes for you, then he has to bring them to you because he is so nice and all, then he needs to talk to you about something, the discussion starts...see what he did there. You are doing the right thing keep ignoring him.

[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 3:41 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)]

AmSoDone posted 7/9/2014 15:44 PM

Yes, 7 I thought that. Why do they do this? He doesn't want me so why mess with my head? Its horrible.

devistatedmom posted 7/9/2014 18:28 PM

Yes, 7 I thought that. Why do they do this? He doesn't want me so why mess with my head? Its horrible.

A) He may not want you, but he wants you to be "ok" with what he did. If you are ok and friends with him, then what he did isn't so bad.

B) He wants to not want you on his terms. That means he gets to whore around, come and go on his terms, treat you like shit, but you still let him live there, do all his laundry and look after him.

C) The "fight" didn't happen. If he ignores it, then everything will be fine.

D) All of the above.

NoMorDeceit posted 7/9/2014 19:10 PM

He doesn't want you, but he doesn't want to let you go either. He wants it all. He wants to be able to use you for ego kibbles when it suits him and ignore you when it doesn't. Sorry.

StillLivin posted 7/10/2014 01:31 AM

What devistatedmom said and control. It's all about control and convincing himself he's not that bad of a guy really. He just made one widdle mistake. But if wifey pays me attention it's still all good.
Continue with crickets.

deena posted 7/10/2014 02:17 AM

Letting him back into your life does seem to erase his wrong in his eyes.

I made this mistake. And now he has rewritten history as well

Don't give in. Don't give him the validation, of not having done something bad, that he craves.

I am sorry you are hurting like this!!!

(((((AmSoDone))))))

AmSoDone posted 7/10/2014 16:11 PM

Woke up to 2 more texts this morning:
ĎPlease donít cut me off, I do miss youí
ĎItís not fair we should be this way, donít ignore me pleaseí
I had to literally sit on my hands not to respond. Seriously, heís talking about fairness. FGS Ė he has done all the doing and itís not fair? I donít know. All I know is I am not going to be drawn into any kind of conversation with him. Whatís the point? Anything I have to say is just spewing out my hurt and anger, not constructive or healthy and itís not going to change anything. Thatís what made me stop and not text back today. I already told him it was done, what more is there to say. I just have to be strong now and ignore his rubbish. Iím hurting and this is so hard but I have to be strong.

deena posted 7/10/2014 16:23 PM

Sending you strength.

Something that helped me was to write down and even share with SI, all the wrong he has done to you, all the hurt.
Then you just have to sit on your hands so you don't text back in anger

deena posted 7/10/2014 16:23 PM

Sending you strength.

Something that helped me was to write down and even share with SI, all the wrong he has done to you, all the hurt.
Then you just have to sit on your hands so you don't text back in anger

[This message edited by deena at 4:24 PM, July 10th (Thursday)]

AmSoDone posted 7/10/2014 16:33 PM

thank you Deena. I did exactly that today. I wrote out exactly what I wanted to text him back and I ended up with so many different versions of the same thing that I realised that I just needed to get it out and not necessarily to him. He just triggers it that's all. God this is so hard.

nekorb posted 7/10/2014 20:40 PM

He's an asshat.

Ignore. You're just opening yourself up for trouble if you engage. Took me a long time to figure that out.

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