It takes a long time. But it does get better if the WS is truly remorseful and does the work needed to successfully R.
7 years later, once in a while, something will *trigger* me that brings back the emotion of that awful time. It's sadness. It no longer brings me to tears, panic attacks, anger. Just sadness that it happened at all.
The other night H & I watched Wolf of Wallstreet. The movie is filled with infidelity. H asked me at one point if I was OK watching this; said we can turn it off if I wanted. I was OK, but it meant so much that even 7 years later he recognizes things like that. I asked him how he feels watching stuff like that and his answer was shame.
It really never goes away 100%, but we can now talk through it and come together over it.
It's a process you cannot rush. Be gentle with yourself.