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Has Anybody Thought To Have An Affair With Their Spouse?

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notsoOK posted 7/10/2014 18:00 PM

My Story,
I had a 1 1/2 year long Intense E/A, P/A affair with my current wife while married to my Ex wife, Ex Wife's best friend. (I Know). Ex Wife Had everything to start it. (Buts that's another story) our behavior was wrong. I was never "In Love" with ex wife but there I was. AP at the time(current Wife was divorced). We always had a connection. I hurt current wife terribly 3 or 4 times leaving, we both restarted, I couldn't make myself leave my kids. I finally grew a pair and filed for divorce. Took 7 months but won current wife back and moved on together.
We had 5 kids between us. We raised them EX not a good mom. Life went on for 4 years me still not commenting to marrying her. Her suffered from depression and slight Bipolar wondering why I wouldn't marry her. And more importantly hating herself and especially me for hurting her friend.
Still we made it kinda work) we really did completely love each other) but so much baggage. I got promoted to Vice President of my company and had to start travel.
Old high school friend shows up always had a crush on her they start talking he starts supplying her with Xanax and pain pills. They hav a 3 month PA. She slept with him once a month for three months for drugs. Being a nurse she got ahold of morphine. Finally crashed lost her job etc got her in rehab. She still hated me and herself they councilng a lot of work we made it.
Got married the next year and were happy as you can be with 5 kids (lol). Fast forward to 4 yrs ago. I get diagnosed with Luekemia! She was there for held my hand never wavered. ME? I got mad, mad I had this crap and mad she had the affair 9 yrs ago. We rugswept. Any way I was mean nasty said Horriable things to her. None of which she deserved. One night after making her cry cause I was so feeling everything bad. I decided I needed help.
I went to counciling best thing I ever did. Long story short 6 weeks later I was a changed person. Here,s the thing BH,s I had let that man kinda steal 9 yrs of my life. They had sex in a cabin in Mtns, so I wouldn't go there any cabin(trigger ). I had let him rob me of happiness. How freaking did I let him do that? Shit he was out there doing his thing and I had robbed my wife and I something for no reason.and I no longer let cancer define me.
So I booked a cabin for the next weekend surprised my wife bought her some sexy outfits, we had a blast crazy sexy blast like when we were in the affair. Make no mistake affair sex is awesome, new exciting etc. But affairs are hard the lying the sneaking the time tables just freaking hard. But the high was great.
So I decided then and There to start having an affair with my wife. I stared texting daily, a lot , " Hey Sexy" MissYou, all the thing we did on the affair. She started back pic's started being sent(you know what I mean). We started looking good for each other, shit we couldn't keep or hands of each other. We expressed how sexy we were his we couldn't wait to see each other. And meant it. We'd get home and fall in the house and hav amazing sex in every way. Literally the eyes blazing rip your clothes of sex. Those chemicals were swirling. Yet we could still make tender love ( never did in affair) and chemicals still swirling we are Sooooo in love. We make out in front of our kids our parents. Hell before we go in store sometimes.
When's the last time you did that with your spouse?
Thing is I hav a AP and a wife and she's the same person. I can and am crazy adventurous, so is she in everyday . She's truly my best friend and lover and we don't hav to hide ANYTHING. And folks affair married sex is 10000 times better than affair sex it's amazeing beyond belief. So BS. And WS's you can give each other something the affair can't even approach in Love intamacy, commitment a shared soul, and yes rock your world sex.
We hav all wallowed and been sad and lost. But if you truly love your spouse get off the fence. Have an amazing life long affair with your spouse. We hav been at it for 3 1/2 years we will never go back. Hope this helps someone . It was long sorry

SI Staff posted 7/10/2014 18:07 PM

BSs are not to start threads in the wayward forum. You can repost in General or Reconciliation if you like.

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