Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: sponger77 (61470)

User Topic: Not sure how to feel about this...
♀ 34543
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Recently, I was told that my ex's OW wanted to go to my kids' events with my ex. He refused to let her. He said that he was a crappy husband, so the least he could do is try to be a good ex-husband. He insisted, "I won't do that to Harriet."

He was a truly crappy husband. And I think he tries to be a decent ex, although he misses the mark a lot. Not sure how to feel about that. Thankful? Not really. I guess I just hope he keeps it up - he would like us to be friends but that's not going to happen.

Too little too late, I suppose is what sums it up.

D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 801 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
♀ 40306
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess I'd be thankful I don't have to see OW at my kids' stuff, but wouldn't get all soft feeling about your ex. He SHOULD be doing it (being a good ex).

The utility company doesn't call you to sing your praises everytime you pay a bill on time, do they? No - because that's what you are supposed to be doing.

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

Posts: 5600 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 40115
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with nekorb. Your Ex is just doing what he's supposed to do. They are his kids, not hers. She is nothing to them. The kids' events are for the kids.

Honestly, this is probably more about your ex and he's just using you as an excuse. OW is probably pushing to formalize her relationship with your Ex. "Why don't you introduce me to the kids? Why don't I go to family/kid events with you? Blah blah blah." It's easier to say, "Oh I couldn't do that to Harriet" than it is to say "I'm not ready to take that step with you."

One day
I'm gonna forget your name,
And one sweet day,
you're gonna drown in my lost pain. - "Sweet Sacrifice" by Evanescence

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Posts: 3391 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After the craziness I dealt with in how self-absorbed my XWH has been the past three years, I think it's actually almost, somewhat decent that he'd say that. Does it make up for the rest of the damage? Hell no....but if he sticks to it good for him. Though sadly, most WS' don't follow thru on much that seems even slightly positive.

My XWH too recently thought we could be friends - thought we should "get together to catch up" I told him that we are not friends - my friends don't treat me the way he has, and left it at that. Haven't heard from him since.

Me: BW-46
Him: XWH-46

Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

Posts: 5287 | Registered: Mar 2011
Topic Posts: 4

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.