We are 3 months into ordered CS.
The joint bank accounts were never really used by either of us, so they have very very low balances.
I did have to deposit the tax refund into it. I withdrew my half of the money, and left his and never touched it.
He is using the account. I am treating the joint account like it has ebola or something
The first month, there was money in the joint account from tax refund. He said "Take CS from the joint account" I did, with his email saying I could and memoed the withdrawl.
Then the account was back to a low balance, he should start sending me checks? Right?
Now, he is transferring money from his single account into the joint account. Ugh. I don't like it. On the one hand... I don't have to worry about bouncing checks. On the other hand, I feel like the account should be not touched because you are just asking for trouble.
And here is another thing, the last 2 payments, he is transferring the exact amount for child support, but not telling me to withdraw it. (So I am not withdrawing it, obviously, it is his money until he tells me to)
I feel like it is a game. When I go to the judge and say "STBX is X months behind", he is going to say "The money is right there!". And I will say "He never gave it to me". And around and around we go.
I hate this crap.
[This message edited by littlefoggy at 8:22 AM, July 11th (Friday)]
I know that a lot of times, the person paying the CS feels it is some sort of indictment. Sometimes it is.
But it could (and should) be looked at like any other deduction. Taxes are automatically taken out. So are payments to retirement funds, health insurance, etc.
Having it automatically deducted from the paycheck takes the emotion and uncertainty out of it. It also means there is no reason for misunderstanding or confusion.
There is another reason to NOT do this through the joint account. Unless your bank does something different than most, there is nothing to show WHO took the money out of the account.
There is nothing stopping him from depositing the money, later withdrawing it, and claiming that you are the one that took it out. That he essentially "paid" you, because the money was withdrawn from the joint account.
In other words, just showing deposits and withdrawals to/from a joint account does not show payment, and doesn't provide proof one way or the other. It might be ok as long as he is paying, but if he decides to stop, you could have some big problems.
Is the deposit of $X into the joint account earmarked for the ordered CS? Please confirm this so I know how to treat it.
You'll create your own paper trail that will either show things are working or that he is being a butt head. Right now you want to put in the effort that shows that you are trying to be civil and work things out. In your finalized decree, you should arrange for a method of payment either in checks, cashiers checks, court ordered employeer withheld and deposited.
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
ETA And YES! wage garnishment!
[This message edited by badd at 9:44 AM, July 11th (Friday)]
It's not a good idea to have joint anything if separated.
Take your name off the account and deposit the checks into your own account.
I took my ex's name off the joint account and authorized his personal account at the same bank to transfer in but unable to withdraw. CS was the only thing the account was used for and he had no access to it.
My ex and I do something similar with my alimony. We both have accounts at the same bank. He deposits money directly into an account that is only mine so once it's there he can't remove it.
Close the joint account.
Wage garnishment is the best option if it's available.
It was the best thing I ever did. It took me out of the equation. My exwh seems to think that CS is money for me So he kept threatening that he wouldn't pay, stopped and started payments and was generally messing me around because he could.
I contacted the CS agency here and allowed them to start collecting the payment on my behalf. X was pissed that I did this as he lost control of the situation so he then stopped paying all together . Now after much searching the CS agency is now garnishing his wages there is no guarantee that my children will get this money but the chase is now removed from me having to fight him for it.
He now has to fight with the CS agency not me.
It has brought me so much peace.
[This message edited by Bluebird26 at 10:37 PM, July 11th (Friday)]
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
Called the bank. I can close the account. So I told him that I wanted to. And that I would prefer checks for now.
No wage garnishment here,that I know of. I wanted to go through our CS enforcement but the L said do it this way for now and then after D is final, go through them. I am sure she has some master plan.
I also asked what the plan was with the money as Moo suggested.
Thanks for your replies!
So there should be no problem if you take money out, he knows what it's for. Maybe just paper trail everything you do on that account and if you can, don't use the account or attach anything else to it on your end if you want.
If you could have him do direct deposit from where he works, it works wonders although is a step below getting the state involved.
I understand there are different tax laws when that comes into place. This puts Perv in line. I try not to hold it over his head, but he does know it's MY call if he screws up anymore to press the dinger and activate it.
It's so much learning but we have more "power" on our side than we start out knowing. I don't like to say power, but rights...or something.
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.