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Newest Member: Lostjxb (61492)

User Topic: Baked goods?
♀ 20940
Member # 20940
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As I read (esp in JFO)I see mention of gifts offered/exchanged during A. The one common theme I see among online OW is baked goods. WH's online OW wanted to send him a King Cake....nevermind that we had lived in Louisiana for four years. What is with that? Is it simply the old saying "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach"? Do online OM offer food?

Were baked goods involved in your A experience? What gifts were exchanged...any especially odd things?

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."

Posts: 394 | Registered: Sep 2008
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Actually ow made ws a birthday cake in the early stages of their A. My DD who was 9 at the time told me, didnt need to make dad a cake, xxxx already did. Seems she brought it to him at my DD game. I grabbed my keys to go find her and tell her she had no biz making my husband a cake, that was my job. Ws threw a damn fit, told me I was over reacting, yelled at DD for innocently spilling the beans..of course his defense was, SHE WAS JUST BEING NICE!!
There were 2 other times the "guys at work" brought a cake for him. Yea you know how guys in construction bring each other cakes..
Been with him over half my life
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank

Posts: 5738 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
♀ 36072
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 1:10 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH never received baked goods, it probably helped that 16 out of the 17 OW were hookers.

That being said OW17 was a howorker and he doesn't recall her ever baking for him. But I can see a lot of desperate women doing this for a man. I think you're right with the whole "A man's heart is through his stomach".

Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.

Posts: 1470 | Registered: Jul 2012
♀ 41193
Member # 41193
Default  Posted: 4:34 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I WISH she had made him a cake - it may have sent him into a diabetic coma!

To my knowledge, they did not exchange any gifts - except for her gift of a bj.

Me: 60, WH 67
Married: 23 years
DS 21, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
Divorced Jan. 2016

Posts: 961 | Registered: Nov 2013
♀ 43226
Member # 43226
Default  Posted: 4:45 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope, no baked goods that I can recall. But apparently the stupid teenager never learned to cook, let alone bake. I do recall a few instances where my WH cooked for her... and left the dishes and mess in the kitchen for me to clean up

BW early 30's

Separated March 2014
Kintsukuroi: the art of repairing broken pottery with gold and silver laquer, and understanding that it is more beautiful for having been broken

Posts: 68 | Registered: Apr 2014
♀ 36634
Member # 36634
Default  Posted: 5:18 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think the OW gave my FWH any gifts , but I think I will ask him. I was told that she only cooked for him once and it was one of those meal in a box things. I doubt she can cook.

He gave her money and a car. The money was usually to pay her parole officer or pay a bill for her. 40 or 50 dollars here and there. Yes, the classy lady was arrested for drug possession while she was pregnant, so she was on parole.

He said he gave her the car to get rid of her..
He gave her the car and told me it was at his work as he was trying to sell it to buy me a new diamond ring. He actually told me he was going to order me a custom made ring with the money from selling the car.

When I found out about the affair he gave her the title of the car.

It was really strange since I had not asked for a ring. I am not sure why he would come up with such an extravagant lie.

He swears to this day that he gave it to her to try to get her out if his life because when he asked for the car back she threw a fit.

Me: 48 BS
Married 16
True R: 12/2012
4kids(16, 13, 10, 5)+ 2 grown Step kids I love like my own

Posts: 338 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Georgia
♀ 38121
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 6:16 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL...I understand the thought process behind it. Why should an OW spend a few hundred bucks on her married 'boyfriend' for something he can't bring home or it will raise suspicion - like an electronic toy (iPOD or such) or a piece of jewelry? How would he explain to his wife where he got it?

I think the cake/baking thing lets the OW appear to be oh so domesticated to him - and it doesn't stick around for a long time causing a BS to question where he got it.

Over the years I've read stories from OW who said they gave their MM an expensive gift and he had to end up throwing it out or hiding it in his desk at work because he could never explain where it came from if he brought it home.

Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 6327 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
♀ 35862
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

H said that AP made a dinner for him, roast, potatoes, gravy...the works and he had to leave before it could be eaten because that was the day our son put his arm through the window and I called him.

Then there were the cookies that she tried to make that he said weren't as good as mine

Me: BS H: WS
4 kids
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 962 | Registered: Jun 2012
♀ 19258
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Apple Butter

i found it under the passenger seat of our car. i used to call her apple butter betty

i think it has to do with the personal intimate nature of a home made gift. or rather the ho made gift. making them something ups hte level of intimacy in the relationship even more than say a new shirt or something store bought.

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

Posts: 9596 | Registered: Apr 2008
♀ 38207
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

None of them ever cooked for him. That was a question I asked over and over and over again. Especially since I don't work anymore, cooking for my family is exceedingly important to me. It is the tangible way I care for and please them. Every single thing I make is an extension of my heart. If he had allowed them to cook for him, it would be something I'm not sure I could ever get over. It's just that important to me.

Posts: 1595 | Registered: Jan 2013
Time Ticks On
♀ 33772
Member # 33772
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She didn't buy him anything other than cards. Which he left with her after looking at them. He bought her pajamas,bras and underwear that she said she needed. He spent very little on gifts for her. Around three hundred in 18 months. Spent a ton to go see her and take her out to dinner and drinking.

ETA _ She keep hinting for him to pay for her nose job. He ignored her. Oh ...he bought her groceries once a month, though she can't cook. Meaning she doesn't know how.

[This message edited by Feelthrownaway at 12:39 PM, July 12th (Saturday)]

FBW- 50
D-day- aug 16,2011
Married 25 years- together 27

What doesn't kill me, scars me.

Posts: 2001 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Down South
♀ 42137
Member # 42137
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't know if she ever baked him anything…but regarding cooking: I know she is a "specialist" in healthy foods. Always making soup, and insisting on her kids eating vegetables. Him, he loves to cook, but he never understood "soup"--which is a specially of mine. He would always refuse to serve one of my soups when we had people over for dinner, saying "it just fills them up and they eat less of my dinner…". Also, when I would make a meal soup, he would say, "So what's actually for dinner"? He just never got soups. Yet I know now he is into them, due to her influence. He actually had homemade minestrone in his refrigerator and served it to me for lunch once (when we were getting along and he was trying "to be friends") He swears she didn't make it, he did…..Yeah right. It kills me that his fog is so great that he is so malleable with her.

I know he'll be spending his birthday in a few weeks on vacation with her and her kids. Maybe she'll bake him a cake. (Probably sugar- and gluten-feee). Hope he chokes on it.


me 57
WH 58
married 19 years
separated since 3/2013 (in house until 8/2013)
D FINAL! Sept 10 2014
D-day Dec 21 2013 (after separation)
2 sons 17 and 13
OW = family friend and WH work colleague, going on many years (I was clueless)

Posts: 676 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: canada
♀ 38735
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW is all about baking, but she uses it as a ploy to win over my kids, then has them bring the goods home to rub it in my face.

I refer to anything she makes as being "ho made".

BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 1268 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: AZ
♀ 43756
Member # 43756
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW was H's coworker, she never brought him anything specifically, but she did bring baked goods into the office on a regular basis. I think she passed her favors out freely...

He even had her send him the recipes a few times for me to try.

Theirs was an LTA with no real emotion involved...more of a f&$@ buddy relationship. SMH.... I don't think I will ever understand it.

Posts: 243 | Registered: Jun 2014
♀ 41218
Member # 41218
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is one of those "you gotta laugh or you'll cry" threads I love, so I have to join in.

OW would buy WH cupcakes every year for his birthday. "People at work" brought them in, which always made me suspicious. But he brought them home!

WH's head was firmly up his butt on that one, but if I look at it from a different perspective OW bought me some nice cupcakes!

I think some of the cooking and baked goods offered are a show of "See how domestic I can be!" by certain OW. I know the OW in my case was no kitchen genius though.

I take pride in my cooking. I've been cooking full meals, not just desserts, for 20+ years now and I like to think I'm a pretty darned good cook. Ironically one of the things I would do to pass the time when WH was "out with friends" would be to take on elaborate cooking projects.

And once you've butchered a whole pork shoulder or made your own ravioli from scratch, baked goods kind of start to look like kiddie stuff.

So... Ritz crackers sandwiched with peanut butter and covered in chocolate coating? Not very impressive, OW.

Me - BW 36
Him - WH 41
Together 12 years, married 7
3 year LTA with former coworker
DDay 10/29/13
He says he wants to R... can I live with what he's done?

Posts: 165 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: United States
♀ 38089
Member # 38089
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe the OW are trying to show our husbands that they are good at something OTHER than opening their legs for married men?

OW - (former co worker of WH)
Dday: Dec 2012

Posts: 608 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 43513
Member # 43513
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No the OW never gave my husband baked goods or any other gift.

Based on texts I found, she promised to buy him gifts but never followed through.

My wayaward, on the other had, bought her a cake that she admired in a bakery window, and took her out to fancy dinners, on weekend trips, and brought her Jewelry.

The OW in my wayward's affair was very spoiled and demanding, though.

“If two people truly have feelings for one another then they don’t have an affair. They get a divorce and they sort out their feelings. You are accountable for the people you hold hostage in a marriage when your mind and heart refuse to fully commit

Posts: 1516 | Registered: May 2014
♀ 38121
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The least the stupid bitch could have done for him was his laundry. Would have saved ME a couple hours a week.

Selfish whore.

Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 6327 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW brought a cake to a party that we all attended. Of course, I didn't know that she was the OW at the time. I told her how awesome this cake was, and I raved about it to everyone. She emailed the recipe to my WH to send to me. He forwarded it. I thought nothing of it.

Now, she can make him all the fucking cakes she wants. Their love is real

BW - 40
DD - 7 years old
D-day OW#1 2/2004;D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 5451 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
♀ 37725
Member # 37725
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW and her H were couples friends with us, and after we moved to another city, we would still visit each other from time to time.

On one visit, OW gave us a jar of homemade strawberry jam. On a subsequent visit, months later, I happened to mention that my H did not like jam. (I had forgotten that she had given us the strawberry jam!). You should have seen her face! "Not even strawberry?" she asked, looking as if she'd been punched in the stomach. Then I remembered! I assured her that the jam had not gone to waste, as I had eaten it all myself. She just sat there looking a little sick.

Actually, her reaction was one thing that really made me stop and wonder about her relationship to my H. One of the early red flags.

Me: BW, age 69
Him: WH, age 67
Married 22 years
In R.

D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA

Posts: 497 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Connecticut
Topic Posts: 21
Pages: 1 · 2

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