If you can, get a PI to take photos for you-- in my town it's less than 500 if you know where/when they meet. Just get some professional photos, and the pi will also document how long they were in her place together... in my state 2hours is all some judges need for adultery to be proven.
Do not go over there yourself... I remember someone on here a long time ago posted that they saw their H come out of their bedroom with the OW -- he looked her straight in the eye and said he was showing her a new picture they had put in their bedroom. These WS are brutal to us.
If you can read Love Must Be Tough -- it tells you how to treat the WS like an addicted teen, stand up to them, and keep yourself centered when you feel you are going to fall apart....The author says to be as confident in yourself as possible, as you are the person living in reality, and you want consequences to hit your spouse square between the eyes. He says your spouse has crossed the line of respect and this will not be tolerated, but you must show with your actions, not your words, because the WS doesn't hear words, they NEED you to be strong and make them decide whether to be irresponsible or responsible with your Calm, Cool, Collected self....YOU are the prize, they are like a drug addicted teen caught up in the high of infidelity..
I am so sorry you are having to go thru this.
[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 8:55 PM, July 12th (Saturday)]