SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I realize the years are going by and although I am doing ok I want to be doing better.

What works for you to help improve self-discipline?

Accountability. For instance, if you want to lose weight, it helps to join a group where you have to be weighed on a regular basis. No one else knows your weight, but it makes you face yourself and realize that you have to stay on track if you want to see progress.

Another form of accountability is seeking medical advice. If you have a condition that requires a special diet or other change to your way of life, your doctor will know if you're not living up to expectations.

You can also make deals with yourself; if I do X, I will treat myself with Y.

Of course, this isn't foolproof; you can easily lie to yourself or just flat out ignore your own advice, but it's a start.

For me, sign up for a race that I can't fake my way through. And something that is enough money I don't want to "waste". For me, that is at least a 1/2 marathon. Did that last fall, got back into shape for the first time since dday. And then I didn't run for 4 months afterwards Sooo, I signed up for a full for this fall and signed back up with my local running groups training group. I'm realizing how much I enjoy it and enjoy my running group.

Bottom line for me, $ and fear of making an ass of myself

For me, journaling works--pretty much no matter what the goal. For food/fitness journaling, I like crutches like the fitbit and fitday.com. Otherwise, a pen and paper or a notebook phone app does the trick.

Right now, I'm working to become more disciplined with writing--so I simply log how many words I write each day. There's something about the accountability that ensures I do it. Most days.

I keep track of sober days. If they don't tally up to somewhere close to 50% of the total elapsed days in a year (I have a datebook that has that on each day), it's time to cut back.

Yes, I like my wine!

This is my approach:

Measure. If you can't measure you can't control it. So I measure:

- YNAB for budgeting

- Argus (on the iOS device) for things like food, coffee intake, calories, etc.

- Sleep time (on the iOS device) for making sure I sleep well.

And so on.

Immerse yourself in the topic. On any area of your life you want to improve, immerse yourself in the self-improvement material. I listen to Dave Ramsey daily. It helps me control my spending just knowing that I have a goal and listening to other people who do it. Because I can measure the goal, I can know where I stand measured against myself. Because I hear from others, I know how I stand measured against others.

Be Accountable. Tell your friends and others what you're doing, and show them how you're progressing. Show them your numbers and your measurements. Some of them will get it, some will look like you're crazy. And that's fine. But now that you have told people, you will be more likely to stick to it.

Measuring makes my left, calculating brain stick to it.

Immersing myself in the topic helps me control my impulses.

Being accountable creates the social pressure that's needed to not drop the ball.

Finally, relax a bit and enjoy the process (some enjoy the measuring, some enjoy the social pressure and being able to talk about it, etc). Don't stress out too much if you fall back a bit or even completely. Just pick yourself back up and get back on the horse. If it's too much pressure you may give up on it.

This is what works for me.

Thanks for the responses! Tonight is my last night if goofing off!

How do you listen to Dave Ramsey each day? I think that would help.

I tried this before but hope this sticks!

Dave Ramsey has a podcast on iTunes that gets updated daily in the afternoon with his morning radio show.

Thank you- I will listen to his show.

I am trying- my hugest issue is cutting back. I do so many different things. This weekend I am attending a few events and working.

I would enjoy watching a movie with some tea or taking my time to get ready. I am always rushing from place to place.

I think people see me as someone who loves going out but really I am quite happy just relaxing at home.

It is a balance and I think I am out of balance...

You're very welcome.

Just immersing yourself in the material will cause positive changes, little by little. You choose how fast you want to walk on this.

I love the idea of getting out of debt. Pretty soon I will be there myself, even with this D hanging over my head. Have been very strict with my own self so that when I exit this M it will be maybe with no assets, but with no debt either.

Then to save up and try to live life simply for a while. I attend about one meetup event every couple weeks. Will start picking up the pace when money starts accumulating again.

I just want to make sure I can retire. This D really messed up my retirement plan. GotPlayed 2037 (and whoever his wife is) will thank me, and will be able to buy themselves something real nice.

I make lists and stick them on the fridge. Even if it is a small task like replacing a light bulb in the garage, if it is not on the list I get side tracked and forget it. I love the idea of accountability. We accept that in our jobs why not make it a part of our everyday lives.