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Newest Member: Cobound (61857)

User Topic: Final Dday
♀ 35215
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 5:16 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just had my final Dday 3 days ago and will not be in R. I will be moving down to S & D forum. Thank you to all who have helped me here.

BS/FWS (me):44 Madhatter
WS/BS:47 Serial Cheater
Together 20 years, Married 16
DD(14) DS(11)
DDay(s) Too many to count
False R 7/11/14 Same OW2
"Never seek validation from those who are unworthy."

Posts: 4132 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
♀ 41950
Member # 41950
Default  Posted: 5:36 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry to hear this. I think this is all of our worst fears. Please stay strong. Sending strength your way.

Posts: 65 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southeast
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:43 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I'm so sorry.

FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.

Posts: 15220 | Registered: Jan 2011
♂ 38044
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 6:10 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


It is with much sadness that I read this post. I'm sorry your husband has chosen as he has. The truth is waywards have a ton of work to do within themselves. The truth is they are waywards because of a serious lack of fortitude to change known destructive and isolating patterns. Add to this the serious pain and trauma their choices have created and it is easy (but oh so painful) to see why adultery is considered the trial of trials for a M..

Truth is God gets this. He too is sad, but He Is compassionate.

Truth is your sharing of your story has helped others write more true then in my case. My third DD of 4 weeks ago has me facing some painful truths of my own.

You are one of my original brat pack members. I've started to go into the S and D forum I'll keep an eye out for you in there.

Keep reaching out.,..we have your back.

God is with us all.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 6:35 AM, July 14th (Monday)]

ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.

Posts: 5825 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
Member # 41633
Default  Posted: 6:35 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Only you know when it is time and I admire your strength for saying "It's time"
Yes, we all fear what you posted- another DD, but as I have said to my H, there will NOT be any chance for R if any of the agreed upon conditions have not been followed

Hold your head up high. Move full speed ahead. Time to focus on you and be done w this path

Posts: 653 | Registered: Dec 2013
♀ 30314
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 7613 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ 43756
Member # 43756
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just read your post in the S/D column, I am so very sorry your husband made the choices he did. I admire your courage and for respecting yourself to know you have had enough. I wish you strength and peace in the coming days.


Posts: 243 | Registered: Jun 2014
♀ 43221
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry to read this CB....
this journey is a hard one ...moving forward is the only way to go....your priority is YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN...keep the faith in yourself and do not doubt yourself...
Again YOU are the priority!

3 adult children 1D 2S
LTA 2010-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful

" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now." R.R

Posts: 2530 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
♀ 30817
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh honey. You've worked, so, so hard. Please don't let this deter you from your continued self-healing. You are worth so.much.more. than he has given you. I am sure you are so hurt right now. Big, big hugs.

Him WH
2 ddays in '07
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 8014 | Registered: Jan 2011
♀ 37107
Member # 37107
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{{crazyblindsided}} I am so, so sorry. I have followed your journey for a long time now and it breaks my heart to know you are going through this. We're still here for you, don't forget that. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers xx

BS 49
Together 32 yrs, M 28 years
2 daughters 27yo(married with 2 children) & 22yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 1310 | Registered: Oct 2012
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm really sorry you have to go through this.

I'm glad you've found the strength and clarity to do it, though.

fBH (me) - 66 on d-day, Married 43, together 45 on d-day, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
Most of us know only our own experience. That's not enough data to support a general rule that D, or R, is right in every sitch.

Posts: 17097 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois
♀ 16652
Member # 16652
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


It's not really a fairy tale 'til the witch is deposed and a few dragons are slain


Posts: 2059 | Registered: Oct 2007
♀ 38384
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh goodness ((cbs))...I am so sorry.

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 3439 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Topic Posts: 13

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