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Whalers11 (original poster member #27544) posted at 5:46 PM on Monday, July 14th, 2014
I met OC for the first time yesterday.
It was a chance encounter. Wrong place at the wrong time, I guess.
I am still processing my feelings.
I won't lie... it stung to see a cute little girl hugging my ex's leg. A scene I had dreamed about many times, only it was supposed to be MY daughter or son.
He introduced us...awkward. He said "This is daddy's friend, Whalers..."
I squatted down and said hi. I asked about the stuffed animal she was holding, if it had a name.
She is a gorgeous little girl. When she was younger, I could see the resemblance to my ex (in photos). Now she looks like a mini OW.
The whole encounter probably lasted a minute but it felt like an eternity.
I stepped outside and took a few deep breaths.
I'm okay, I think.
The whole thing is just so odd... how easily someone can go from being your other half to more or less a stranger in a familiar body.
ETA: I used to avoid places I knew they might go, because I was afraid of this happening After 4 years, though, I realized that I was giving them a power and still letting him control me. I guess now that it happened I can relax - I can't see much worse happening.
[This message edited by Whalers11 at 12:45 PM, July 14th (Monday)]
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 5:52 PM on Monday, July 14th, 2014
Oh Whalers, you were so amazing and brave. You knew that the OC had no choice in this and you showed her kindness.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. You are truly the better person.
(((Whalers11)))
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
itainteasy ( member #31094) posted at 5:53 PM on Monday, July 14th, 2014
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 6:02 PM on Monday, July 14th, 2014
That must have been terrible. I'm so very sorry.
What a good heart you have, to be kind to the little girl. ((HUGS))
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 6:15 PM on Monday, July 14th, 2014
I can't imagine how painful that must be. (((Whalers)))
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 6:19 PM on Monday, July 14th, 2014
You are amazing, and have such a kind heart.
((Whalers))
tearingaway ( member #28618) posted at 6:38 PM on Monday, July 14th, 2014
Wow, that is so tough. I'm sorry, Whalers.
It was good of you to be so kind to the little girl, but that takes a really big heart and a lot of strength.
Whalers11 (original poster member #27544) posted at 6:48 PM on Monday, July 14th, 2014
Thank you, everyone.
I love kids, and I never wanted to hold anything against OC - this had nothing to do with her, really. I mostly feel bad for her that she ended up with 2 selfish pricks for parents.
OK now ( member #14459) posted at 7:01 PM on Monday, July 14th, 2014
What dignity and class you demonstrated. Your XWBF is a fool; hopefully he'll realize that one day.
[This message edited by OK now at 1:02 PM, July 14th (Monday)]
NeverAgain2013 ( member #38121) posted at 7:32 PM on Monday, July 14th, 2014
You, my dear, are one class act.
Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.
shygirl07 ( member #42972) posted at 6:53 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
Whalers,
I posted on another of your threads, I can totaly relate to you .. my WEXBF had a baby with his wayward ex , they got together behind my back.. ive only seen a few pics of the baby but it has blue eyes like her and her features completly.. anyways I know how it feels to see someone you were with for so long with a baby..its weird right? I think you handled it with grace ...
I agree sooo much how you said the OC had nothing to do with it , its the selfish pricks she ended up with ..in my case a mom who is a loser who clings to men to support her , she would often tell me she didnt want my bf that they were friends , (yah right ) and he is a sick , rude, mean , heartless , lying , cheating drug addict.. i hope with all my heart they both change because this child didnt ask for this.. he would often tell me that he needed a child to fix him..additionaly a year before she got pregnant, i had gotten pregnant myself....
so I can totally understand your story..
we can relate to each other a ton
[This message edited by SI Staff at 1:27 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]
me:27
him:30
7 years together
no children
OW was his ex he always convinced was his friend .. moved in her and knocked her up , got together behind my back
Ddays : many in 2009 and 2010
final dday : Sept 2012 after being broken up 3 w
brokeninfl ( member #21896) posted at 7:42 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
I just have to agree with everyone else -- you are a total class act.
You rock. 
"On the other side of fear lies freedom"
Me - 39 BS
Him - doesn't matter
2 DS
DD 11/08
Divorced.
LoveActually ( member #31030) posted at 7:46 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
Wow..talk about classy. Although I can't even imagine how painful that moment was, what an amazing example of empowering oneself.
BS (Me) WS (Him) D-Day 5/29/09Married 15 yrs, together 20 yrs
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 7:46 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
shygirl07 -
Please do not post personal information on the forums. Use caution sharing your personal information via private message. YOU are responsible for the personal information you share on the Internet. Thank you.
seethelight ( member #43513) posted at 7:49 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
Whalers:
You handled this so well.
“If two people truly have feelings for one another then they don’t have an affair. They get a divorce and they sort out their feelings. You are accountable for the people you hold hostage in a marriage when your mind and heart refuse to fully commit
IrishGirlVA ( member #39694) posted at 8:18 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
This is going to happen to me one day. My exWBF lives within 2 miles from my home and works within 2 blocks of my work. We shop and eat lunch in the same areas. We even drive to work the same route.
I hope I handle my encounter with as much grace and sophistication that you did.
I know it wasn't easy. Just thinking about this for myself makes me sick. 
[This message edited by IrishGirlVA at 2:19 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]
million tears ( member #24416) posted at 8:20 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
Poor, beautiful, baby girl will probably have to deal with infidelity in her life with such scum as parents. You handled it very well.
GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 9:10 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
((( Whalers )))
That was incredibly classy on your part.
That little girl is an innocent. You treated her with kindness AND refrained from kicking her father in the nuts.
Job well done, I'd say.
[This message edited by GabyBaby at 3:26 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]
Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 9:35 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
The whole thing is just so odd... how easily someone can go from being your other half to more or less a stranger in a familiar body.
I've never read something so profound ...
Whaler you are an amazing and kind woman. I can't even begin to imagine what you were feeling but you handled yourself so beautifully. I wish you the most wonderful of futures, you deserve the best
BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????
Want2help ( member #20547) posted at 10:35 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
Whalers,
You have always been, and continue to be, a class act with nothing but dignity.
Kudos to you.
(((hugs)))
FBS/WS- me.
F(serial)WS/BS- him.
Madhatters. More Ddays than birthdays, at this point. His OC, my OC...
UPDATE: Divorcing after almost 20 years.
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