Today is it, the one I have been waiting for! The benchmark at the end of the rainbow that was hanging out there for so long..... It has been 5 years since that horrible moment went I accidentally found out the love of my life had slept with my friend while I was nursing my son and carrying my daughter and had continued a sexual relationship via email and phone over 2 years that followed.
I thought I died.
Year 1 crept Along
No remorse
Year 2
More of the same and worse
Year 3 I lost all function And purpose
Divorced but confused
Still sleeping with ex on occasion
No life purpose
Terrible everything
Had another child with him
Now year 5
Still destroyed by the thought
Devastated
Pregnant again with another child
He will never ever know how he destroyed me
He will never feel it or care
I am healing but not healed
Did everything wrong
Just saw xmow's sister for the first time since DDay
She is still an evil POS who encouraged her sister to pursue my then H
Anyway
5 years if ws is remorseful would feel different I am sure
But it still feels good to have some time between then and now
Wish I could have a do over of my twenties
But now at almost 40 I need to embrace the good
Our kids
No matter what they are amazing
And I think I will be ok too
