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luvedmypbear posted 7/14/2014 17:17 PM

Today is it, the one I have been waiting for! The benchmark at the end of the rainbow that was hanging out there for so long..... It has been 5 years since that horrible moment went I accidentally found out the love of my life had slept with my friend while I was nursing my son and carrying my daughter and had continued a sexual relationship via email and phone over 2 years that followed.
I thought I died.
Year 1 crept Along
No remorse
Year 2
More of the same and worse
Year 3 I lost all function And purpose
Divorced but confused
Still sleeping with ex on occasion
No life purpose
Terrible everything
Had another child with him
Now year 5
Still destroyed by the thought
Devastated
Pregnant again with another child
He will never ever know how he destroyed me
He will never feel it or care
I am healing but not healed
Did everything wrong
Just saw xmow's sister for the first time since DDay
She is still an evil POS who encouraged her sister to pursue my then H
Anyway
5 years if ws is remorseful would feel different I am sure
But it still feels good to have some time between then and now
Wish I could have a do over of my twenties
But now at almost 40 I need to embrace the good
Our kids
No matter what they are amazing
And I think I will be ok too

wifehad5 posted 7/14/2014 20:21 PM

And I think I will be ok too

LostMySoulMate1 posted 7/14/2014 22:48 PM

After 5 years, after dealing with so many emotions we go thru, its so hard to work what we need in our lives, when dealing with so much pain, I do know i dont see the man i married, i see the man I lost, i hope i believe in love one day, not with him, he is broken, and i realise i cannot help him, if he doesnt help himself, I am more mature, and if your really true to yourself and beliefs,and who i am as a person is so strong that is why i will never accept cheating, I have changed as a person and i respect myself so much that i do what i want when i like, i wont cheat if the chance comes to me I meet another man i will be upfront, but as a wife my duties were taken away, and i am living a less stress full life, take care.