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fwh...doing great!!!

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struggling3 posted 7/15/2014 08:27 AM

I thought I would post something positive. I tend to post more when I am floundering and looking for advice.

I went on H's work email last week to just check out what was going on at work. I saw the "your password is going to expire in 6 days" thing. So it expired yesterday. For the longest time he was just changing it by one number so that I would always have it. He had a computer crash at work about a month ago and the IT people gave him a password (which he gave to me) but when it came time to change it he would have to come up with one. I had some slight anxiety thinking "will he bother to tell know how important this feels to me?"
So he gets to work this morning...logs on, then immediately called me to say good morning, tell me that his password changed yesterday and gave me the new one. He then said "lets meet at the gym after work and get in a workout together" He is not real keen on working out but knows I love it (I was planning on going on my own this morning...but I'll wait and go with him).

I hung up the phone and smiled and said out loud to myself "You really are a good man....I think you are getting it". I will make sure I also tell him this when I see him. It started my day off RIGHT

Hrtbrkn2 posted 7/15/2014 09:09 AM

That is awesome!!!! It is proof that good people do make mistakes. My WH is one of them, sounds a lot like yours. My only anxiety is will it last? Has your WH acted that way since d-day? We're you worried it wouldn't last. My WH is doing everything he can, we are not as far removed from d-day as you are, but your situation sounds a lot like ours.

Me BS 52
Him WH 53
Married 29 yrs
3 amazing grown kids
LTA 7 yrs
D-Day 5/10/14
Working hard at R

struggling3 posted 7/15/2014 09:46 AM


My only anxiety is will it last? Has your WH acted that way since d-day?

He has been remorseful since day 1. Yes I still have anxiety about it (even after 3 years). Something can happen that turns my stomach totally upside down with anxiety. It almost always is something that I have elevated in my mind and thoughts and not at all what is really happening. My H had a short EA of sorts but it blindsided me. He has always been a good man, great husband and father. He has done many things to shore up his boundaries as he really had a problem with even seeing that he crossed lines that he shouldn't have.

If you are already feeling better about his behavior and he is helping you to heal, you are moving in the right direction. Don't be surprised at taking steps backward or feeling stuck or frustrated. They don't call it a roller coaster for nothing. Good luck

Hrtbrkn2 posted 7/15/2014 09:56 AM

Thanks!!! That helps.

Jrazz posted 7/15/2014 10:00 AM

Awesome post - so glad to hear it!

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