One should never live their lives as a prisoner just to keep their adult children happy.
If you've raised them right - to be compassionate, understanding, mature, intelligent adults, then they'll understand and respect your need to get to a better emotional place in life.
If they can't do that for you, then they should be ashamed of themselves.
You've wasted 4 years of your life feeling angry, bitter, and very unhappy.
In the end, will it all have been worth it? I doubt it, very highly.
Life is too damned short.