So tonight I booked non refundable tix to Provence and Tuscany for my 50th. Mistake this soon? Trip will happen in September.
Edited for typos
[This message edited by Didact at 8:56 PM, July 15th (Tuesday)]
BH (Me) 49
D-Day Mar 19, 2014
1 year passionate EA/PA, ended by me on d-day.
Attempting to R
Hope it goes well!
I hope you have a fabulous trip, and enjoy each other's company immensely.
We went on a 20th anniversary trip at a little less than five months from DDay. We mostly had a great time together. But know it wasn't the same. Some time those feeling hit you, even on vacation. Just like on any given day those feelings of loss, fear, anger can pop up. The same things happen during vacation, too.
Just trying to prepare you and adjust your expectations accordingly.
But if she continues to do the hard work? It could be very reaffirming as well.
Go big or go home, eh?
If you were going alone I would applause you very loudly but your wife doesn't deserve it. By booking this beautiful trip you are showing her how desperate you are to save your marriage despite her callous attitude toward you after the D-day. Basically, you are rewarding her for staying with you after your neighbour ditched her when their affair was discovered.
[This message edited by adriana1980 at 5:49 PM, July 18th (Friday)]
Samuel Beckett: You're on Earth. There's no cure for this.
"Nothing can come between God and the soul." --Julian of Norwich
I cannot look at anything I do from the perspective of rewarding or punishing. I am booking a trip to a place I want to go with someone that I love who also wants to go there. Any punishment will come from her knowing what she cost our M in the long run, and what she did to me and to herself. I think she's working herself pretty good on that front, and I hope she finds a way to forgive herself, as I'll need to find a way to forgive her as well. The rewards for her behavior were transient and fleeting at best, and as time goes on, hopefully she sees them as even more so. This trip is not a reward for the A, it was scheduled then cancelled.
Additionally, No chance I do it if the signs weren't all pointing to R, but I also know that 3.5 months isn't very long. That's my biggest concern.
In any events, tickets punched, hoping for even more healing in next 8 weeks before we fly out...
[This message edited by Didact at 6:25 PM, July 18th (Friday)]
I look at it now, almost 7 years into R and I smile every time. It reminds me of our deep, true, solid love for each other and the faith that my H had in it and had in me.
I wish you well in your healing journey.