Needing some support. I've been lurking on this site all day...for the first time in a while and not knowing why. But I think I do now, and I'm really in the dumps over this
I am going to be 62 in a few months. WSO is already 62. His AP is 37. All three DDs have been with her, over the course of about 16 years, which means she was 21 when they started seeing each other, she's 37 now. R is going well this time. I didn't really deal with it the last two times, at least not appropriately. We're working on it this time, not just sweeping it under the rug... but, I'm 62. I can't be 37. My body is not 37 and not surgically enhanced with fake boobs. I can't compete with her on this level. I've lost 25 pounds and I work on myself every day, even though he swears I'm beautiful and sexy, I don't believe him. He didn't cheat with a woman my own age, he sought out a younger woman, so this is obviously important to him, right?
My therapist wanted to talk about my self-esteem. I don't have a problem with my self-esteem, I know who I am and what my strengths are. I know I'm worthy of love and I do respect myself. But I have no control over what he wants and needs and if that's youth... how do I give him that? Are we doomed to repeat this? He swears it had nothing to do with me, he does everything he can to make me feel attractive, but when we touch, or he looks at me, I think he compares us and I come up lacking. I know that if I left him and went looking for a man there are many that would want to be with me. That's not an issue. Is this what other women feel? How does he do more to convince me? How do I convince myself? Last year I know he was probably with her on my birthday, before he took me out for dinner. This is going to be a tough one, and I just want to say 'let's skip it altogether this year'. Anyone have a pep talk for me?