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Newest Member: betrayedinil (61145)

User Topic: We are all so Specific on our d-day dates.
♀ 40637
Member # 40637
Frustrated  Posted: 8:23 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Notice how most of us can list the exact date of our D-day? I guess we can add this to the list of dates/places that are forever burned into our memories ... Kennedy's assignation, Armstrong's first step on the moon, the attack on the World Trade Center/pentagon/ and wherever those poor brave souls on the Pennsylvania flight were headed..... And God help us all - our D-day(s). I can't remember my zip code half the time - but July 8th 2013 will forever be burned into my brain.

DDs, 1977 (prostitutes), 7/8/13 (LTA MOW), 11/14 (CL), 9/1/15 (PA).
Porn, 2DUIs, blame-shifting. I told both families & adult kids. I was suicidal and cutting.
I moved out for 2 years, he asked me to come home 10/16. R w exit plan.
STD discovered

Posts: 246 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
♀ 43521
Member # 43521
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine was my best friends birthday, I hate that her special day will always be tarnished in my mind :(

Posts: 31 | Registered: May 2014
♂ 41920
Member # 41920
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

D-day #1 Christmas Eve
D-day #2: DS birthday

Won't ever forget.

XBH 50, 2DS
M 20 years
Now remarried to a faithful wife

Posts: 1579 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
♀ 40115
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You never forget the days that the world as you knew it ended.

One day
I'm gonna forget your name,
And one sweet day,
you're gonna drown in my lost pain. - "Sweet Sacrifice" by Evanescence

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Posts: 3391 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
♀ 41193
Member # 41193
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have so many antiversary dates coming up:

When they first connected.
when I first suspected.
My actual anniversary (which I won't be celebrating this year).
And then Dday.


Me: 60, WH 67
Married: 23 years
DS 21, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
Divorced Jan. 2016

Posts: 961 | Registered: Nov 2013
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

True... But the farther out I have gotten, the less this date means to me anymore. Of course, I divorced the Doosh so I am sure that has something to do with my feelings.

My divorce date is a date of celebration for me now. It's 2 days before my dday (on the calendar) so it took the sting out of dday for me.

divorced the Dooosh 8/13
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...

Posts: 3870 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
♀ 25001
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

June 12th, 2008. The day my world crashed and burned.

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

Posts: 6121 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Like PurpleRose, I hope and think these become less burned into our brains with time. It is amazing how the dates stick with everyone. But I firmly believe the impact fades!

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4324 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
♂ 40392
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't remember much but my god I remember that day like the back of my hand. I've never felt worse even after having several close people die. A death is something that is natural I guess and easier to deal with.

Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 647 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
♀ 10347
Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 1:03 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Actually, I don't remember any of the exact dates of D-days in my first M (there were 4 of them). It is my opinion, that at least for me, the main reason I remember the two D-days from my current M is because of this forum, realizing we have a term called "D-day" and there is the word antiversary, to commemorate the date in future years.

In the first M, the first D-day was about three years into the M, when our D was about one. I can't pin point it any further than that. I don't even know if it was summer or winter. The second D-day was in November of 1988. I only remember it was slightly before Thanksgiving and I was 7 months preg. with our 3rd child. I remember crying on Thanksgiving, and being thankful for nothing...

The 3rd D-day can be narrowed down to either right before the new year of 1989 began (that same OW from a couple of months earlier). If I wanted to do a little homework I could definitely figure out the exact date of the fourth D-day as I do remember that it was on a Sunday, Father's Day, 1992. I remember trying to make the day normal for the kids. We went to McDonalds with him to "celebrate" Father's day. I didn't confront him until after they went to bed that night. I filed for a D two days later.

Posts: 6792 | Registered: Apr 2006
♀ 43773
Member # 43773
Default  Posted: 1:41 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

June 6, 2014, 12:30ish a.m. is when I opened the phone log. 2:17 a.m. is when I called and told him to come home. 4ish a.m. is when I found out it had been sexual and not just sexting. 11:30ish a.m. is when I found out about OW1 and that it went back a year.

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” - Dumbledore

Posts: 4090 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: California
Member # 42124
Default  Posted: 2:19 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been 7 years and the exact dates have faded for me. There's so much other b.s. to remember and be traumatized by.

M 2007. DDay 2008
~10+ CL Prostitutes in 8 months
Divorcing SAWH "ActionsOverWords"
Me: Early 30s BW (also an adult OC) w Baby DS

6 years of TT, hidden STD & false R
Separated 5 mos+; he will not commit
Someday I will be okay

Posts: 288 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
♀ 42111
Member # 42111
Default  Posted: 3:25 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't remember my first Dday. Like Bobbi_Sue said, I didn't have SI, I didn't discuss it with anyone, I didn't have it written down, least of all in a signature on a forum I read everyday.
I remember the day, I remember what happened but not the date.

I know it was either some time in late 2009 or early 2010 but beyond that, I honestly couldn't tell you. I have 01/10 because it was around that time, January 2010, but I didn't want to run out of characters in my sig!

My 2nd Dday, I remember because it happened after I found SI and I put in my signature so I see it every day.

[This message edited by BrokenButTrying at 3:27 AM, July 18th (Friday)]

Madhatters - We have R'd.

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. We can do this.

Posts: 1363 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
♀ 42975
Member # 42975
Default  Posted: 3:43 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will never forget the day that my world as I knew it crumbled and my heart broke into a million pieces

DD April Fools Day 2014 (unfortunately no joke)

BS (me) 40
WH 38
OW - a friend of WH for 5 years

4 month EA which turned into a 5 month PA

married 19 and 7 kids

He has now decided he can't do it anymore and left

Posts: 366 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
♀ 35862
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 4:20 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

July 11, 2008 at 1:29 pm

A date that will be forever burned in my brain. The day my life as I knew it fell apart.

It just passed and didn't crush me, but I'll never forget that day.

Me: BS H: WS
4 kids
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 960 | Registered: Jun 2012
♀ 42911
Member # 42911
Default  Posted: 5:06 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

October 21, 2012.
You know, on the one year anniversary, I was prepared to feel devastated all over again. And I wasn't. Our divorce had been finalized the previous month, it was a beautiful day, I wore a pretty dress to work…it didn't destroy me again. Still, I doubt I will ever forget the date.

Posts: 33 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Appalachia
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:23 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

August 10, 2010...11:54am.

I had just glanced at the clock as I sat down at the computer..and found his secret email account logged in.

FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.

Posts: 15220 | Registered: Jan 2011
♀ 39476
Member # 39476
Default  Posted: 5:37 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I do not remember when my gut told me that my H was having an A. During the LTA each day of the A was a continuing D-day.

Oh, but the day the shit hit the fan! I remember every single detail. My therapist said that contact from it made the A real.

Coincidently, it was the same day that my H and I began his cancer journey. This day, was the day that I had to face the fact that my life as I had hoped, was no more.


ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 24 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years

Both feet pointed forward; positive

Posts: 508 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Inner Peace
♀ 27035
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 5:42 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me it was New Year's Eve, so kind of hard to forget. It isn't a trigger or anything, not anymore. I do sometimes measure time in how long since the divorce, or how long before D-day, i.e. moved to XXX 3 years before D-day, crap like that. I need to stop that.

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5379 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ 43496
Member # 43496
Default  Posted: 5:55 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup. My world has crashed twice in the same week- four years apart. 4.16.10 I lost my first pregnancy. 4.18.14 I lost my husband... Well, found out I'd lost him, he's been gone a while.

Me: 33, BW Him: 40, fWH
Together 11y, married 8
2 children (ours) 7/11 & 3/14
D-day 4/18/14 I saw his 'other' email
Working on R, and it's working

Posts: 3226 | Registered: May 2014
Topic Posts: 49
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