Topic: We are all so Specific on our d-day dates.
Member # 40637
| Posted: 8:23 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
Notice how most of us can list the exact date of our D-day? I guess we can add this to the list of dates/places that are forever burned into our memories ... Kennedy's assignation, Armstrong's first step on the moon, the attack on the World Trade Center/pentagon/ and wherever those poor brave souls on the Pennsylvania flight were headed..... And God help us all - our D-day(s). I can't remember my zip code half the time - but July 8th 2013 will forever be burned into my brain.
Haha! The jokes on me, another DDay November 20, 2014! A date that will live in infamy, along with July 8,2013, oh yea and 36.5 years ago right after we got married. Hat trick!! WH is tremblingaspen. Life sucks.
Posts: 219 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
Member # 43521
| Posted: 8:31 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
Mine was my best friends birthday, I hate that her special day will always be tarnished in my mind :(
Posts: 31 | Registered: May 2014
Member # 41920
| Posted: 9:05 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
D-day #1 Christmas Eve
D-day #2: DS birthday
Won't ever forget.
M 20 years
Posts: 1349 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
Member # 40115
| Posted: 9:08 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
You never forget the days that the world as you knew it ended.
"Better not give in to it. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.”
― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Posts: 2695 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Member # 41193
| Posted: 9:11 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
I have so many antiversary dates coming up:
When they first connected.
when I first suspected.
My actual anniversary (which I won't be celebrating this year).
And then Dday.
Me: 60, WH 67
Married: 23 years
DS 21, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
Posts: 906 | Registered: Nov 2013
Member # 33129
| Posted: 9:16 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
True... But the farther out I have gotten, the less this date means to me anymore. Of course, I divorced the Doosh so I am sure that has something to do with my feelings.
My divorce date is a date of celebration for me now. It's 2 days before my dday (on the calendar) so it took the sting out of dday for me.
divorced the Dooosh 8/13
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
Posts: 3640 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Member # 25001
| Posted: 9:23 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
June 12th, 2008. The day my world crashed and burned.
Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)
Posts: 6115 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Member # 42092
| Posted: 9:32 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
Like PurpleRose, I hope and think these become less burned into our brains with time. It is amazing how the dates stick with everyone. But I firmly believe the impact fades!
Sit. Feast on your life.
Posts: 4321 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Member # 40392
| Posted: 11:37 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
I don't remember much but my god I remember that day like the back of my hand. I've never felt worse even after having several close people die. A death is something that is natural I guess and easier to deal with.
Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”
Posts: 647 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
Member # 10347
| Posted: 1:03 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
Actually, I don't remember any of the exact dates of D-days in my first M (there were 4 of them). It is my opinion, that at least for me, the main reason I remember the two D-days from my current M is because of this forum, realizing we have a term called "D-day" and there is the word antiversary, to commemorate the date in future years.
In the first M, the first D-day was about three years into the M, when our D was about one. I can't pin point it any further than that. I don't even know if it was summer or winter. The second D-day was in November of 1988. I only remember it was slightly before Thanksgiving and I was 7 months preg. with our 3rd child. I remember crying on Thanksgiving, and being thankful for nothing...
The 3rd D-day can be narrowed down to either right before the new year of 1989 began (that same OW from a couple of months earlier). If I wanted to do a little homework I could definitely figure out the exact date of the fourth D-day as I do remember that it was on a Sunday, Father's Day, 1992. I remember trying to make the day normal for the kids. We went to McDonalds with him to "celebrate" Father's day. I didn't confront him until after they went to bed that night. I filed for a D two days later.
Posts: 6145 | Registered: Apr 2006
Member # 43773
| Posted: 1:41 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
June 6, 2014, 12:30ish a.m. is when I opened the phone log. 2:17 a.m. is when I called and told him to come home. 4ish a.m. is when I found out it had been sexual and not just sexting. 11:30ish a.m. is when I found out about OW1 and that it went back a year.
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” - Dumbledore
Posts: 2788 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: California
Member # 42124
| Posted: 2:19 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
It's been 7 years and the exact dates have faded for me. There's so much other b.s. to remember and be traumatized by.
M 2007. DDay 2008
~10+ CL Prostitutes in 8 months
Divorcing SAWH "ActionsOverWords"
Me: Early 30s BW (also an adult OC) w Baby DS
6 years of TT, hidden STD & false R
Separated 5 mos+; he will not commit
Someday I will be okay
Posts: 288 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
Member # 42111
| Posted: 3:25 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
I don't remember my first Dday. Like Bobbi_Sue said, I didn't have SI, I didn't discuss it with anyone, I didn't have it written down, least of all in a signature on a forum I read everyday.
I remember the day, I remember what happened but not the date.
I know it was either some time in late 2009 or early 2010 but beyond that, I honestly couldn't tell you. I have 01/10 because it was around that time, January 2010, but I didn't want to run out of characters in my sig!
My 2nd Dday, I remember because it happened after I found SI and I put in my signature so I see it every day.
[This message edited by BrokenButTrying at 3:27 AM, July 18th (Friday)]
Madhatters doing well in R.
Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.
Posts: 1311 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
Member # 42975
| Posted: 3:43 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
I will never forget the day that my world as I knew it crumbled and my heart broke into a million pieces
DD April Fools Day 2014 (unfortunately no joke)
BS (me) 40
OW - a friend of WH for 5 years
4 month EA which turned into a 5 month PA
married 19 and 7 kids
He has now decided he can't do it anymore and left
Posts: 323 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
Member # 35862
| Posted: 4:20 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
July 11, 2008 at 1:29 pm
A date that will be forever burned in my brain. The day my life as I knew it fell apart.
It just passed and didn't crush me, but I'll never forget that day.
Me: BS H: WS
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."
Posts: 845 | Registered: Jun 2012
Member # 42911
| Posted: 5:06 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
October 21, 2012.
You know, on the one year anniversary, I was prepared to feel devastated all over again. And I wasn't. Our divorce had been finalized the previous month, it was a beautiful day, I wore a pretty dress to work…it didn't destroy me again. Still, I doubt I will ever forget the date.
Posts: 33 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Appalachia
Member # 30826
| Posted: 5:23 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
August 10, 2010...11:54am.
I had just glanced at the clock as I sat down at the computer..and found his secret email account logged in.
M: June 2001
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Posts: 10270 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 39476
| Posted: 5:37 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
I do not remember when my gut told me that my H was having an A. During the LTA each day of the A was a continuing D-day.
Oh, but the day the shit hit the fan! I remember every single detail. My therapist said that contact from it made the A real.
Coincidently, it was the same day that my H and I began his cancer journey. This day, was the day that I had to face the fact that my life as I had hoped, was no more.
ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 24 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years
Both feet pointed forward; positive
Posts: 508 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Inner Peace
Member # 27035
| Posted: 5:42 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
For me it was New Year's Eve, so kind of hard to forget. It isn't a trigger or anything, not anymore. I do sometimes measure time in how long since the divorce, or how long before D-day, i.e. moved to XXX 3 years before D-day, crap like that. I need to stop that.
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
Posts: 5378 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 43496
| Posted: 5:55 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
Yup. My world has crashed twice in the same week- four years apart. 4.16.10 I lost my first pregnancy. 4.18.14 I lost my husband... Well, found out I'd lost him, he's been gone a while.
Me: 32, BW Him: 39, fWH
Together 10y, married 7
2 children (ours) 7/11 & 3/14
D-day 4/18/14 I saw his 'other' email
Working on R, and it's working
Posts: 2245 | Registered: May 2014
|Topic Posts: 49|