Topic: We are all so Specific on our d-day dates.
Member # 40637
| Posted: 8:23 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
Notice how most of us can list the exact date of our D-day? I guess we can add this to the list of dates/places that are forever burned into our memories ... Kennedy's assignation, Armstrong's first step on the moon, the attack on the World Trade Center/pentagon/ and wherever those poor brave souls on the Pennsylvania flight were headed..... And God help us all - our D-day(s). I can't remember my zip code half the time - but July 8th 2013 will forever be burned into my brain.
Married 1977. DDs, 1977 (prostitutes), 7/8/13 (LTA MOW), 11/14 (CL), 9/1/15 (PA). Porn, 2DUIs, blame-shifting. I told both families & adult kids. I was suicidal and cutting. I moved out for 2 years, he asked me to come home 10/16. R w exit plan.
Posts: 229 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
Member # 43521
| Posted: 8:31 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
Mine was my best friends birthday, I hate that her special day will always be tarnished in my mind :(
Posts: 31 | Registered: May 2014
Member # 41920
| Posted: 9:05 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
D-day #1 Christmas Eve
D-day #2: DS birthday
Won't ever forget.
XBH 49, 2DS
M 20 years
Posts: 1577 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
Member # 40115
| Posted: 9:08 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
You never forget the days that the world as you knew it ended.
I'm gonna forget your name,
And one sweet day,
you're gonna drown in my lost pain. - "Sweet Sacrifice" by Evanescence
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Posts: 3388 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Member # 41193
| Posted: 9:11 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
I have so many antiversary dates coming up:
When they first connected.
when I first suspected.
My actual anniversary (which I won't be celebrating this year).
And then Dday.
Me: 60, WH 67
Married: 23 years
DS 21, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
Divorced Jan. 2016
Posts: 961 | Registered: Nov 2013
Member # 33129
| Posted: 9:16 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
True... But the farther out I have gotten, the less this date means to me anymore. Of course, I divorced the Doosh so I am sure that has something to do with my feelings.
My divorce date is a date of celebration for me now. It's 2 days before my dday (on the calendar) so it took the sting out of dday for me.
divorced the Dooosh 8/13
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...
Posts: 3870 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Member # 25001
| Posted: 9:23 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
June 12th, 2008. The day my world crashed and burned.
Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)
Posts: 6121 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Member # 42092
| Posted: 9:32 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
Like PurpleRose, I hope and think these become less burned into our brains with time. It is amazing how the dates stick with everyone. But I firmly believe the impact fades!
Sit. Feast on your life.
Posts: 4324 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Member # 40392
| Posted: 11:37 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014|
I don't remember much but my god I remember that day like the back of my hand. I've never felt worse even after having several close people die. A death is something that is natural I guess and easier to deal with.
Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”
Posts: 647 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
Member # 10347
| Posted: 1:03 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
Actually, I don't remember any of the exact dates of D-days in my first M (there were 4 of them). It is my opinion, that at least for me, the main reason I remember the two D-days from my current M is because of this forum, realizing we have a term called "D-day" and there is the word antiversary, to commemorate the date in future years.
In the first M, the first D-day was about three years into the M, when our D was about one. I can't pin point it any further than that. I don't even know if it was summer or winter. The second D-day was in November of 1988. I only remember it was slightly before Thanksgiving and I was 7 months preg. with our 3rd child. I remember crying on Thanksgiving, and being thankful for nothing...
The 3rd D-day can be narrowed down to either right before the new year of 1989 began (that same OW from a couple of months earlier). If I wanted to do a little homework I could definitely figure out the exact date of the fourth D-day as I do remember that it was on a Sunday, Father's Day, 1992. I remember trying to make the day normal for the kids. We went to McDonalds with him to "celebrate" Father's day. I didn't confront him until after they went to bed that night. I filed for a D two days later.
Posts: 6539 | Registered: Apr 2006
Member # 43773
| Posted: 1:41 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
June 6, 2014, 12:30ish a.m. is when I opened the phone log. 2:17 a.m. is when I called and told him to come home. 4ish a.m. is when I found out it had been sexual and not just sexting. 11:30ish a.m. is when I found out about OW1 and that it went back a year.
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” - Dumbledore
Posts: 3897 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: California
Member # 42124
| Posted: 2:19 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
It's been 7 years and the exact dates have faded for me. There's so much other b.s. to remember and be traumatized by.
M 2007. DDay 2008
~10+ CL Prostitutes in 8 months
Divorcing SAWH "ActionsOverWords"
Me: Early 30s BW (also an adult OC) w Baby DS
6 years of TT, hidden STD & false R
Separated 5 mos+; he will not commit
Someday I will be okay
Posts: 288 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
Member # 42111
| Posted: 3:25 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
I don't remember my first Dday. Like Bobbi_Sue said, I didn't have SI, I didn't discuss it with anyone, I didn't have it written down, least of all in a signature on a forum I read everyday.
I remember the day, I remember what happened but not the date.
I know it was either some time in late 2009 or early 2010 but beyond that, I honestly couldn't tell you. I have 01/10 because it was around that time, January 2010, but I didn't want to run out of characters in my sig!
My 2nd Dday, I remember because it happened after I found SI and I put in my signature so I see it every day.
[This message edited by BrokenButTrying at 3:27 AM, July 18th (Friday)]
Madhatters doing well in R.
Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.
Posts: 1363 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
Member # 42975
| Posted: 3:43 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
I will never forget the day that my world as I knew it crumbled and my heart broke into a million pieces
DD April Fools Day 2014 (unfortunately no joke)
BS (me) 40
OW - a friend of WH for 5 years
4 month EA which turned into a 5 month PA
married 19 and 7 kids
He has now decided he can't do it anymore and left
Posts: 366 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
Member # 35862
| Posted: 4:20 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
July 11, 2008 at 1:29 pm
A date that will be forever burned in my brain. The day my life as I knew it fell apart.
It just passed and didn't crush me, but I'll never forget that day.
Me: BS H: WS
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."
Posts: 934 | Registered: Jun 2012
Member # 42911
| Posted: 5:06 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
October 21, 2012.
You know, on the one year anniversary, I was prepared to feel devastated all over again. And I wasn't. Our divorce had been finalized the previous month, it was a beautiful day, I wore a pretty dress to work…it didn't destroy me again. Still, I doubt I will ever forget the date.
Posts: 33 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Appalachia
Member # 30826
| Posted: 5:23 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
August 10, 2010...11:54am.
I had just glanced at the clock as I sat down at the computer..and found his secret email account logged in.
M: June 2001
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Posts: 15220 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 39476
| Posted: 5:37 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
I do not remember when my gut told me that my H was having an A. During the LTA each day of the A was a continuing D-day.
Oh, but the day the shit hit the fan! I remember every single detail. My therapist said that contact from it made the A real.
Coincidently, it was the same day that my H and I began his cancer journey. This day, was the day that I had to face the fact that my life as I had hoped, was no more.
ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 24 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years
Both feet pointed forward; positive
Posts: 508 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Inner Peace
Member # 27035
| Posted: 5:42 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
For me it was New Year's Eve, so kind of hard to forget. It isn't a trigger or anything, not anymore. I do sometimes measure time in how long since the divorce, or how long before D-day, i.e. moved to XXX 3 years before D-day, crap like that. I need to stop that.
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
Posts: 5379 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 43496
| Posted: 5:55 AM, July 18th (Friday), 2014|
Yup. My world has crashed twice in the same week- four years apart. 4.16.10 I lost my first pregnancy. 4.18.14 I lost my husband... Well, found out I'd lost him, he's been gone a while.
Me: 33, BW Him: 40, fWH
Together 11y, married 8
2 children (ours) 7/11 & 3/14
D-day 4/18/14 I saw his 'other' email
Working on R, and it's working
Posts: 3226 | Registered: May 2014
|Topic Posts: 49|