SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

FaithFool posted 7/18/2014 09:13 AM

The "Time heals" thread got me thinking. It's true that we all heal differently, and 7yearsflushed's thoughts on things really resonate with me.

I'm one of those whose scars do indeed throb when the weather changes.

I'm well into year 7 and doing well, but last night the weather changed for a bit.

The awful plane incident in the Ukraine made me want to check to see if x was still alive. (I know, don't beat me up, I still care that he's breathing.)

He travels constantly and is always flying off somewhere, often between Europe and Asia.

Rather than emailing him, I decided to just check the itinerary for the band he's been working for all summer. (Thankfully they are finishing up stateside at the moment.)

Big banner on the site for some big heavy metal party cruise, a week long debauch with 30 (30!) bands. Picture a floating booze + STD festival and you get the picture. Can't believe grown adults still do that shit.

Anyway, that took me down to Trigger City, remembering all the years of touring with one of the really huge metal bands that paid our mortgage and kept us in gravy for a long time. Those years were when he was deep into his drug and booze addictions as well.

Then I remembered how naive I used to be about it all, because he cleaned up his act and got sober all on his own. God I was stupid.

Anywho, a bit of a bump, but I'm over it.

There were some hilariously bad cell phone videos of some of the performances. Who knew old paunchy rockers could look so dang hideous in the harsh light of the sun?

Onward.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 9:20 AM, July 18th (Friday)]

FaithFool posted 7/18/2014 09:15 AM

And can someone call a mod to change "somethings" to "sometimes" in my title? thanks...

norabird posted 7/18/2014 09:29 AM

I loved how 7years described it too.

It's only natural to still care if he's alive. And I'm glad you found some humor in the triggers. It's comforting to me that everyone has them sometimes. I think everyone must look back with bittersweet feelings about the past, no? We aren't automatons. You move on most of them time...and sometimes you look back. Luckily it doesn't turn us into pillars of salt and we start looking forward again once it passes.

We've all been pretty stupid I'd guess. It's okay. Part of life, and you learn from it. It sounds like there were good and interesting experiences mixed in with the bad. Certainly you probably have a lot of tales to tell! The scars are part of that, and they don't stop you for long.

((((FaithFool))))

jo2love posted 7/18/2014 10:42 AM

Updated the title.

Sad in AZ posted 7/18/2014 13:38 PM

Must be something in the air between your thread and inconnu's.

You'd have to be stone-hearted to not feel something should he meet with his end. You spent a huge part of you life with him. For me, it was almost 40 years. If he passes before me (notice I didn't say when ) it will be like losing an old acquaintance (or perhaps friend) that I've lost contact with. However, I'll have to comfort DS, and I'm not looking forward to it. Plus, his family burial plot is back here in the East, so I'm on the front line so to speak.

Wait till you hear what his 'last wishes' are. He wants to be cremated, baked into a cake and served to his enemies Yeah. That's not happening...

FaithFool posted 7/18/2014 18:29 PM

Thanks jo2love.

Sazzy, that's hilarious. And, um, ew....

risingfromashes posted 7/18/2014 23:08 PM

But aren't the bumps smaller? Your shock absorbers stronger? I still feel pain in my heart but it does not linger like it used to. Hug the part of you that hurts and rejoice with the part of you that has moved on and thrived!
Those paunchy old rockers smell bad too.

FaithFool posted 7/20/2014 09:45 AM

Yes they are smaller, and getting smaller all the time.