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Newest Member: Confused4 (61103)

User Topic: mind movies
♀ 42013
Member # 42013
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey everyone, havent posted in a while. Husband and I have been in R since jan. 20th, d day was nov. 30th... H is doing everything right and is completely remorseful, transparent, supportive ect. Here's my issue...I can't stop the mind movies of them together.They are especially bad during sex. I feel like I am literally watching it all sometimes and it makes me sick. I feel like he enjoyed having sex with her more. This stems a lot from a recent discovery that during the A he bragged to friends about how great sex was because she had only been with one other guy.....gag...I find myself constantly comparing myself to her. She is younger, thinner, no kids. I have a strong hate for her. I feel bitter because it seems my life is completely shattered, I deal with depression and anger everyday. While she is doing just fine, New bf, job, life is good for her. Seems unfair.....sigh

ME: 21
WH: 25
One 2 year old, one 4 month old.
D Day: 11/30/13 (my birthday)
EA and PA with COW
currently in R

Posts: 52 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
Member # 41633
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Karma. Believe in it.
I get mind movies but try to change train if thought as soon as I could.
Keep pushing out if your mind. Don't let the thoughts longer too long.

Posts: 653 | Registered: Dec 2013
♀ 44060
Member # 44060
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unfortunately I can't remember which post it was in, but someone had a similar post not lonv ago and another member gave some very specific techniques to reclaim that mind space. Hopefully she will either see and post here or you can find it in the history. I pray you can conquer this terrible pattern.

Me (BS)- 42
Him (WS)- 44
Married 21 years
3 beautiful daughters (18,16,14)
DDay- 4/23/14- 6 month EA turned PA just before DDay

Posts: 762 | Registered: Jul 2014
♂ 32900
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 12:00 AM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a wired way of getting through this crap. I first tried to just say fuck it roll on movie. Bad idea as it increased the effects of the trauma this crap brings. Then I discovered visualization worked for me. I learned it in sports. When the mind movie would start I visualized it was a screen on a baseball and I hit it with a bat. Home run every time. It is wired but it worked for me. I rarely get them now but it still works when I do.

Your beliefs donít make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1377 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 4

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