Anyway, I'm in a low moment right now (limbo sucks). I haven't thought about getting involved with the OW's personal life whatsoever, but it's crossing my mind..I know who her husband is, should I send him an anonymous facebook message just giving him a heads up, without too much info to identify myself? Or since I don't have a confession or haven't caught him with his pants down with my own eyes, I should just keep quiet?
Be honest...I'm just emotional right now
[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:38 PM, July 21st (Monday)]
My WBF denies absolutely everything and has convinced me that nothing is going on, outside of them talking. Says he loves me so much and doesn't want to live without me..blah blah.
If he doesn't want to live without you then it is simple...
STOP TALKING TO THIS PERSON. PERIOD. NO CONTACT.
Does your source have proof. Have they witnessed with their own eyes?
What does your gut say? Usually where there is smoke there is fire. Tread lightly.
As regards to telling the OW's H. Hell yes. Convey what was told to you. State your BF denies it but you thought he should know.
Nothing ends the lies and the fantasy quicker than it being called to light. The OW's H can be on alert.
Don't tell you BF that you are letting the OW's H know. He may warn her and she will start manipulating the truth.
Also be weary that they can take their A underground.
Follow your instinct.
It was pretty obvious something was going on. I told him I found it, he said they were just friends, she was confiding in him about her 'bad' marriage (aren't they all 'bad' marriages' and aren't they all just friends? ugh), that she took his kind support as something more. He sent her a NC email, but that didn't last. A few months later, he repeatedly rec'd long texts on his phone under a guy's name, I thought that was weird (guys don't usually send guys long texts like that), caught the name, searched his phone under the dude's name..surprise! It was her #!
1faith - One year after this incident, a source confided in me that they knew my WBF was still seeing her. He had been out with WBF and OW. My WBF talked about seeing her, said WBF has other 'girlfriends' in other cities. Problem is - my WBF is source's boss . I made up a story that my friend saw him and a woman at a restaurant and I wanted the truth. Again, denied everything. I checked his phone again a few weeks later, and voila, OW's number is under a new fake name!
I guess I'm hanging on because I don't want to believe it's happening. I know that if I contact the BH, the relationship is over between us. Which is crazy talk, because I do not want to be in a relationship with a cheater. But I want him to admit it so I know for sure, I guess ?
But I want him to admit it so I know for sure
You already know for sure. You are holding on to the illusion that maybe it is a mistake but in your heart you know the truth.
Your lying, cheating BF will not admit it. Why should/would he? He is going to continue to cover his ass.
Why keep changing her name in his phone if nothing is going on? Why? Because he is lying, hiding and cheating.
Don't allow yourself to be an option. You deserve honesty and truth.
Leaning towards leaving, no one deserves this pain.
You're absolutely right...I wish I had ended it when I found the email. This last year has me totally doubting myself as to why I would stay in an obviously disrespectful relationship. He's like two totally different people and damn convincing. He's a very successful salesman, figuratively and literally.
At this moment, I could ask him to show me that he put her number under her real name (he said he would)and if he hesitated I catch him in the lie. Or if he told me that he actually deleted her number, I could search his phone for her # (which I have saved)and a catch him in his lie in front of him.
I'm glad you all understand the crazy making that is infidelity
I think you are never going to get a confession and that you are just going to have to settle for leaving and having a good life without him. I know it's easier said that done, but it can be done.
But yeah you need to print that email out and physically hand it to him.
Someone was kind enough to risk their ass - and their very livelihood - to give you the gift of SIGHT and tell you about his affair with this one AS WELL AS his other 'girlfriends' in other places. You yourself have seen proof of his cheating with the texts from his OW under a guy's name on the lying sneak's cell phone.
Some people never find the 'smoking gun.' I actually never did either. But that doesn't NEGATE the fact that my ex was a cheating liar. Nor does it negate the fact that YOUR boyfriend is a lying cheater.
I didn't stick around to find the smoking gun. Life is too damned short to waste on people who mistreat you, disrespect you, and devalue you - which is exactly what your boyfriend is doing.
So in the end, who are you going to believe - your paragon of virtue boyfriend or your lying eyes?
I really appreciate everyone's feedback and responses. It's helping me so much to hear all of you say what I'm feeling.