Second Dday was the day in the counselor's office when he required her to call her AP and end the affair. Right there, in front of me and him.
And she refused.
The counselor turned immediately to me and said "...I think you have every right to end your marriage right now..."
He was correct. What I figured out later, is that her refusal meant that she had watched me hurt for two weeks, lose 13 pounds, walk the streets in disbelief, etc..... and, she had a completely depraved indifference to how her affair affected me and her children.
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Never be so focused on what you're looking for that you overlook the thing you actually find.”
We all have different beliefs regarding marriage, separation and divorce as well as many other things such as religion and financial circumstances, the involvement of children etc. that effect our views. Combine all of this with the type, length and style of betrayal or A and you have a different set of circumstances for everyone.
You need to think hard about what your line in the sand is and decide exactly how many DDays are too many DDays for you. Good luck, may you find the path you should follow.
Life is not measured by the breaths we take
but by the moments that take our breath away.
If the healing and hard work continues, two would be the deal breaker. If we fall back to old ways, one will be too many for me.
BH (Me) 49
D-Day Mar 19, 2014
1 year passionate EA/PA, ended by me on d-day.
Attempting to R
One dday is enough for me.....when I read of others here discovering another A or the first A never ended I cringe....
"Nothing can come between God and the soul." --Julian of Norwich
[This message edited by isitme24 at 10:29 PM, July 19th (Saturday)]
If it happens again... I'll know it's not anything to do with me and nothing I can fix
honey you do realize none of your Ddays had anything to do with you, don't you?