Nodding over here too. Especially the part about being angry at the system that allowed him to do what he did.
Some of my beliefs did need to be broken. I can't say I think all of my beliefs that were broken needed to be or that I am better for it. Better in terms of no longer being in that fraud of an M, yes but not better overall.
Some beliefs didn't need to be broken. I could have done with not knowing that someone could use you to have children. Or that someone can cheat and justify it as the right thing to do because it makes them 'happy'. I didn't need to know that shitty husbands are also more often than not shitty fathers. Lots of examples like that.
There is a great focus on growth and learning - yes that is absolutely important especially after what we've been through. It would have been nice to learn without quite as much drama, heartbreak and humiliation.
I'm grateful that I learned how strong I really am - I'm not grateful that I had to learn it the way I did.
The struggle I will have for the rest of my days is integrating this into my life without letting it define me. I'm only 2 years out so it kind of does right now. There are things I do and feel and behaviours I now have that are directly related to lessons I don't think I necessarily needed to learn. Not all of them anyway.