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Divorce changed me ....

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Kajem posted 7/19/2014 17:30 PM

This about sums it up for me. I'd thought I'd share.


Ashland13 posted 7/19/2014 18:49 PM

Here too, Kajem.

SBB posted 7/20/2014 01:11 AM

Nodding over here too. Especially the part about being angry at the system that allowed him to do what he did.

Some of my beliefs did need to be broken. I can't say I think all of my beliefs that were broken needed to be or that I am better for it. Better in terms of no longer being in that fraud of an M, yes but not better overall.

Some beliefs didn't need to be broken. I could have done with not knowing that someone could use you to have children. Or that someone can cheat and justify it as the right thing to do because it makes them 'happy'. I didn't need to know that shitty husbands are also more often than not shitty fathers. Lots of examples like that.

There is a great focus on growth and learning - yes that is absolutely important especially after what we've been through. It would have been nice to learn without quite as much drama, heartbreak and humiliation.

I'm grateful that I learned how strong I really am - I'm not grateful that I had to learn it the way I did.

The struggle I will have for the rest of my days is integrating this into my life without letting it define me. I'm only 2 years out so it kind of does right now. There are things I do and feel and behaviours I now have that are directly related to lessons I don't think I necessarily needed to learn. Not all of them anyway.

gardenparty posted 7/20/2014 09:55 AM

Dang that sums it up almost perfectly. It is that momentary spark of anger that always surprises me. It triggers from the stupidest things and took me a long time to recognize and control.

brokeninfl posted 7/20/2014 12:33 PM

Wow. Yeah, that hits home for me too.

Especially the part about not letting people in - - and in my heart of heart believing people leave.

traicionada posted 7/20/2014 13:07 PM

It did & I thank God for it I'm a little less naive, a little bit more jaded but most important I'm finally free to be me

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