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Kajem (original poster member #36134) posted at 11:30 PM on Saturday, July 19th, 2014
This about sums it up for me. I'd thought I'd share.
K
http://divorcedmoms.com/blogs/divorce-whirlwind/no-im-not-the-same-yes-divorce-changed-me
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 12:49 AM on Sunday, July 20th, 2014
Ashland 13
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 7:11 AM on Sunday, July 20th, 2014
Nodding over here too. Especially the part about being angry at the system that allowed him to do what he did.
Some of my beliefs did need to be broken. I can't say I think all of my beliefs that were broken needed to be or that I am better for it. Better in terms of no longer being in that fraud of an M, yes but not better overall.
Some beliefs didn't need to be broken. I could have done with not knowing that someone could use you to have children. Or that someone can cheat and justify it as the right thing to do because it makes them 'happy'. I didn't need to know that shitty husbands are also more often than not shitty fathers. Lots of examples like that.
There is a great focus on growth and learning - yes that is absolutely important especially after what we've been through. It would have been nice to learn without quite as much drama, heartbreak and humiliation.
I'm grateful that I learned how strong I really am - I'm not grateful that I had to learn it the way I did.
The struggle I will have for the rest of my days is integrating this into my life without letting it define me. I'm only 2 years out so it kind of does right now. There are things I do and feel and behaviours I now have that are directly related to lessons I don't think I necessarily needed to learn. Not all of them anyway.
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
gardenparty ( member #12050) posted at 3:55 PM on Sunday, July 20th, 2014
Dang that sums it up almost perfectly. It is that momentary spark of anger that always surprises me. It triggers from the stupidest things and took me a long time to recognize and control.
brokeninfl ( member #21896) posted at 6:33 PM on Sunday, July 20th, 2014
Wow. Yeah, that hits home for me too.
Especially the part about not letting people in - - and in my heart of heart believing people leave.
"On the other side of fear lies freedom"
Me - 39 BS
Him - doesn't matter
2 DS
DD 11/08
Divorced.
traicionada ( member #10310) posted at 7:07 PM on Sunday, July 20th, 2014
It did & I thank God for it 
I'm a little less naive, a little bit more jaded but most important I'm finally free to be me 
Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...
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