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Newest Member: Roaming (61812)

User Topic: Nervous about changing dynamics
♀ 38207
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Earlier this week , I formally accepted a leadership position with my local MOPS group. I love these women and the safe, loving and accepting environment they have created. I was humbled and honored that they would consider me for leadership. Lots of things were done before I accepted, not the least of which was a conversation with my H about the extra time commitment. His job is different now and he has scheduled days off and no longer travels out of town. We both feel like that extra time will more than compensate for the extra time I'll be away for leadership meetings. However, I am still scared to death. I know that my working out of the home had some complex psychological and emotional effects on him before and I worry that he will slip back into his A mindset.
On a personal note, I'm scared for myself. I tend to get absorbed in a job to the point of forgetting my other priorities and with the goal of making myself important. I've worked really hard to grow past this in the last few years and have succeeded in short-term commitments (like VBS). This will be my first opportunity to put those skills to the test in a long-term, outside the home situation.
I don't know that there is really a question here. Just needed to get it all out to some people who get it.

Posts: 1595 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 42654
Member # 42654
Default  Posted: 3:21 AM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you're wise to be considering all of this before hand. I also think it would be smart to talk with your H about your fears/concerns and come up with a plan to sort of shore things up before this new venture starts. Perhaps this is done through reading a book together, one that speaks directly to the types of issues you will be facing in your M and how to stay focused and be prepared when discomfort strikes. Perhaps the same strategy would be helpfull for you. Do some last minute power focusing on priorities so that all is fresh in your mind as you start your new role. Sometimes planning ahead on how we'll handle certain possible scenarios can help us when they arise. We're more prepared, more confident because we know we've considered and thought through the possibilities and reactions/responses we can make.
MOPS is a great program. How cool for you to be sharing yourself and your skills with these moms and their kiddos. Hope you have a great time and enjoy your new ministry.

H: 50
Dday #1 Oct 2007 (Porn for 2 yrs)
Dday #2 May 2013 (Porn for 5 more yrs))
Dday#3 May 2014 (finally admitted to drunk kissing OW in 1994: the 2nd drunken kiss with another woman during our M)
DD 22 and DS 18
Married 1993

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
Topic Posts: 2

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