Now almost a year after being back home and the final Dday things are returning to normal....his parents may never trust me again but we talk more than we did. It has definitely improved.
Because I'm that guy no more. Just like you.
DDay#1 September 2012
DDay#2 May 2013 (the remainder of my tt)
Children 4 and 6
After D-day I wrote them letters of apology but never got a response. I feel like since XILs are about to become current ILs again I should reach out. My mother says I should leave it alone though and that it would be awkward to bring it up again after 4 yyears. In a way I see her point but I've never been a rugsweeper and I don't want to start now.
Divorced from and remarried to XBH
Like nearly everything else, sometimes things seem good. They treat me the way they used to. And I am free of guilt and dishonesty, so I am better able to enjoy it. Then, sometimes the awkwardness and embarrassment and disappointment pops up out of nowhere. Again, this happens with lots of things now.
On the whole, they have welcomed me, with those periods of being really uncomfortable. Those will get better as long as I never, ever screw up again.
There are some other people that I also plan to write to, including my husband's best friend and his wife. I also plan to apologize in person to certain people, but none of them live in the same city as us. My MIL knows about the infidelity, but my FIL doesn't. I will have to handle the apology with her at a time when my FIL isn't around I guess. I don't think a letter is a good idea with her, because I wouldnt want my FIL to stumble across it and potentially get angry with her for not telling him. That whole situation feels bad to me. My whole immediate family knows, and although yes it is embarrassing, I can't imagine only telling a few of them and not the rest. Does anyone else have experience with that? Of course I respect my husband's decision, and I understand his reasons, but yikes, what if someone accidentally says something someday? Things I never thought I would have to worry about, and things my husband never ever should have had to consider.
@theworstcase, As for my own family, I told my brother (who's been through rehab and his own D) because I needed his support, and my older sister found out. Of my two younger siblings, one was living overseas and the other out of state so we didn't have to see them while in the thick of it and it was easy to just say we are having problems. Most people close to us knew about the problems in our relationship (before the A) anyway. So far it's been easy for the rest of the family to keep it from them. Maybe one day that will change and I will tell them or an accident will happen. Either way I'm prepared to confess and own my actions and hope for the best.
Good luck Thatguynomore. I don't envy you.
WW (me) - 33
Married 13 years
DS 6, DD 3, & another DD on the way
Dday - 10/25/13
[This message edited by nightmarelife at 12:32 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday)]