SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

How do you balance? You are actively in your NB but it requires some amount of $ to get out and do things yet for me I am still paying off my divorce.

What do you say if anything or do you only accept things that are cost friendly?

I do a lot of free stuff. I've let people know I can't afford to do certain things because I'm in the process of paying down big debt. You'd be surprised how many people are willing to help you stay on track with your payment plan. And will even join you (and feel relieved) that spending time with you is not a bank breaker.

Instead of going out all the time, I have friends over - a bottle of wine, some takeout, or even a potluck, is cheaper than eating out.

I also prioritized what is important to me: experiences over clothes, for example. If I only have $50 to spend on fun this month, I'd rather it be spent drinking sprite out with my friends a couple nights than buying a cute new dress. Stuff like cable tv, going to the movies, gym membership, that stuff goes away to save money.

I spend a lot of time doing things by myself, such as reading or walking the dogs.

It's very peaceful. I work a lot during the week, so the down time is always welcome.

I'm like WM ^^^ mostly.

But I live in a town that has some pretty fabulous foodie hangouts and a very lively cocktail culture, so I also enjoy lunches and evenings out with good friends.

So that's where most of my 'fun money' goes. That and the occasional big ticket concert experience.

I tend to get spendy in the summer when the patio resto-bars beckon, but I make myself walk to wherever I'm going so I can burn some calories en route.

I got rid of cable, have the most basic (no data) cell plan for occasional calls and texts, and don't have a gym membership.

I'm very fortunate to live where I don't need a car, so that balances out as I don't have gas, insurance, maintenance or car payments.

I also track my spending on a spreadsheet so I can rein it in if it gets excessive.

I don't have debt right now, but I depleted my savings with all of the moving and, yes, fun, that I had in my first 3 years post D, so I'm taking it a bit easier now.

I go to meetups, mostly hiking, and I'm starting to branch out again with short trips. I lucked out yesterday when I went for gas--I had a $.30 per gallon discount, so I fueled up and hit the road to Vermont this morning. I would have liked to hike, but I need to do a bit more planning for that to happen, so I did some retail therapy. My birthday is in 3 weeks, so I went to the outlet mall and bought a Coach purse that I'd had my eye on for quite some time. I also bought some very inexpensive clothes for DGS; winter stuff is already coming into the stores, and he lives in New Mexico, so I was able to get some nice summer things for him

I had lunch, found a stitchery shop (cross stitch is one of my hobbies) and finally bought some local wine. Now I'm sitting on my balcony at my apartment enjoying the peacefulness (my apartment is in the woods--unbelievably nice, quiet setting) listening to some Northern Goshawks in the woods.

I don't have to be at work until tomorrow afternoon, so even though I worked on Saturday, I still feel like I have a whole weekend.

Life is good. I hope you find your sweet spot