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Self-esteem and worrying

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Chippednotbroken posted 7/20/2014 17:29 PM

I've always had self-esteem issues. I got called the ugliest girl in school in high school. In college guys would always try to sleep with me but I never really dated anyone except my ex, and he cheated a few times. Last few years he was physically and verbally abusive, calling me disgusting a week after I had our third. Asking why my body didn't go back to normal like other woman. I know that was just him saying whatever to hurt me. But then I go home to visit my family and my sister tells me to pull up my bra the girls are saggy and my mom tells me no to let men meet my kids because after that they won't want to date me.
my head says that's really messed up on their part but I can't help but internalize all this.
I never get hit on. Never. I've lost 25 lbs but was not big to begin with. A size 4 now and otherwise keep myself up. I decided to wear what I want to wear and not dress for others necessarily. But how do I deal with drains on my confidence?
Feels good to finally get all that out.

AgainandAgain posted 7/20/2014 18:50 PM

You hold your head high and you brush off what they say. You ignore it. If someone says things that are that hurtful to you, there is something wrong with them. Not you. I would love to be a size 4 again! Try and surround yourself with positive and not the negatives. You look at all you've accomplished, overcome and are still going.

I've never quite understood family bringing other members down. Mine does the same thing. Telling me I can't do this, I'm that, making fun of me, etc. Yet I have others who look at those same family members and laugh at them. They are supposed to help and encourage.

Just try and smile. No one is perfect but no one has the right to try and tear you down. I am sure you are a beautiful person inside and out. You don't need them to tell you what you already know

AgainandAgain posted 7/20/2014 19:07 PM

After I posted, I found this article. Take a moment to go through it. It is a slideshow but it might just make you smile.

http://www.shape.com/lifestyle/mind-and-body/confidence-boosting-tips-real-women-age-9-99

Chippednotbroken posted 7/20/2014 19:13 PM

Thank you!
I know I've accomplished a lot and am doing great it just seems like so much! I don't want to need outside validation, you know some guy telling me I'm pretty, that's so much power to hand over. I want my own, I want to love me!

AgainandAgain posted 7/20/2014 19:35 PM

You will get there! It is hard with outside validation and I still go through it. As long as you love yourself that is all that matters.

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