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Like all the crazy things that I've felt since DDay, I'm now considering asking my husband to take a lie detector test, which feels nuts but I'm hoping that it might help me move forward. Did it help you if your BS took one? If it did did I you ever ask for another one or was one enough?

MUCH! In my case it was a turning point to my healing. It was a condition to R. My 2 year antiversary is Sunday and I can say that without that test, I would have filed.
I will not be asking him to take another one... I think he knows that I would not work toward R again. It was very close to just being a dealbreaker for me.

He may have many reasons to not want it. Put your needs first. Not always so easy to do but try.
I unfortuantely had to push hard for it and told my H that him allowing me to be in pain when he has the power to help with my healing spoke volumes.

It was a turning point for me. I wish you peace.

[This message edited by mbbd at 6:00 PM, July 21st (Monday)]

Good to know!

Good to know!

I read on here a lot of people it has helped them, mine did the exact opposite. My WS failed all 4 questions, but yet still swears on his life he was telling the truth.

My husband went and took a lie detector and passed all the questions. Initially it did make me feel better, but then I began doubting the results. I think a small percentage of people can pass the test even when they are lying. I honestly don't know how or why, but I STILL don't believe he is telling the truth, even after the lie detector. So, nope, I don't feel better.

I think it can work for a lot of people. It didn't work out so well for us. My FWH took one a couple of years ago and passed, even though he was lying. On our DDay in May 2014, he admitted he read several articles on the internet about how to pass the test and surprisingly the techniques worked. I guess this is the reason polygraphs are not admissible in U.S. courts.

He is a pretty calm, not-very-emotional guy by nature, so the test evidently wasn't very difficult to beat. Going into the test, he wasn't sure whether he would pass or fail. His passing the test meant our true DDay was postponed by 2 years.

Don't get me wrong, I think they can be a valuable tool. I probably wouldn't give advance notice if I were going to make my spouse take one. I wish you luck on this rocky journey!