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BrokenheartedUK (original poster member #43520) posted at 10:07 PM on Monday, July 21st, 2014
Like all the crazy things that I've felt since DDay, I'm now considering asking my husband to take a lie detector test, which feels nuts but I'm hoping that it might help me move forward. Did it help you if your BS took one? If it did did I you ever ask for another one or was one enough?
Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide
mbbd ( member #41828) posted at 11:53 PM on Monday, July 21st, 2014
MUCH! In my case it was a turning point to my healing. It was a condition to R. My 2 year antiversary is Sunday and I can say that without that test, I would have filed.
I will not be asking him to take another one... I think he knows that I would not work toward R again. It was very close to just being a dealbreaker for me.
He may have many reasons to not want it. Put your needs first. Not always so easy to do but try.
I unfortuantely had to push hard for it and told my H that him allowing me to be in pain when he has the power to help with my healing spoke volumes.
It was a turning point for me. I wish you peace.
[This message edited by mbbd at 6:00 PM, July 21st (Monday)]
BrokenheartedUK (original poster member #43520) posted at 11:56 PM on Monday, July 21st, 2014
Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide
BrokenheartedUK (original poster member #43520) posted at 12:04 AM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide
Jls0320 ( member #41192) posted at 4:10 AM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
I read on here a lot of people it has helped them, mine did the exact opposite. My WS failed all 4 questions, but yet still swears on his life he was telling the truth.
Me: BS 2 young kiddos
Him: EXWH, SA/NPD, Craigslist, porn, cam sites. EA/PA with disgusting co-worker troll
Too many DDays 9/13-1/15, too many chances to be a good man
Together 16 yrs, married 7yrs,
Divorced 2/11/15
I deserve to be the ONLY one
ItsaClimb ( member #37107) posted at 8:39 AM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
My husband went and took a lie detector and passed all the questions. Initially it did make me feel better, but then I began doubting the results. I think a small percentage of people can pass the test even when they are lying. I honestly don't know how or why, but I STILL don't believe he is telling the truth, even after the lie detector. So, nope, I don't feel better.
BS 52
Together 35 yrs, M 31 years
2 daughters 30yo(married with 2 children) & 25yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later
Sunnydaysahead ( member #43756) posted at 4:00 PM on Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
I think it can work for a lot of people. It didn't work out so well for us. My FWH took one a couple of years ago and passed, even though he was lying. On our DDay in May 2014, he admitted he read several articles on the internet about how to pass the test and surprisingly the techniques worked. I guess this is the reason polygraphs are not admissible in U.S. courts.
He is a pretty calm, not-very-emotional guy by nature, so the test evidently wasn't very difficult to beat. Going into the test, he wasn't sure whether he would pass or fail. His passing the test meant our true DDay was postponed by 2 years.
Don't get me wrong, I think they can be a valuable tool. I probably wouldn't give advance notice if I were going to make my spouse take one. I wish you luck on this rocky journey!
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