This is extra hilarious when your WS has their own SI username that they've used....mmmm....let's say twice, but chooses to creep via yours instead. I know this is something somewhat common, but man....
"Look, as sentient meat, however illusory our identities are, we craft those identities by making value judgments. Everybody judges, all the time. Now, you got a problem with that, you’re living wrong."
So kudos to you for being open with your postings and PMs. Hopefully you can encourage her to open up and dig down to what might be driving this fear. Communication is a key. Validation is a key. Patience is a key. Listening is a key. As well as Compassion is a key. For either one of you has the sole power to derail R. It will take the two of you working together to make R succeed.
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
I've decided that this is something dealt with more appropriately privately.
That's great, assuming 'privately' means direct discussions with your W inside or outside MC.
And it's really nice to have a place to vent.
Have you considered placing each other's threads or posts off-limits to each other? That won't work perfectly for folks who vent a lot, but it gives each of you some safety.