SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Ascendant posted 7/21/2014 18:12 PM

So, you know that point in reconciliation where the WS gets all paranoid that you are going to have an RA and starts doing things like reading your SI posts and/or PMs? And then has the nerve to try issue YOU a boundaries lecture? Even though you have nothing to hide and keep yourself logged in to SI at all times on the common family computer?

This is extra hilarious when your WS has their own SI username that they've used....mmmm....let's say twice, but chooses to creep via yours instead. I know this is something somewhat common, but man....

TheIrishGirl posted 7/21/2014 18:32 PM

My WH finds participation on these boards somewhat suspect. WTF. He's the one that cheated via message boards. But they were porn & sex ones. Try again.

healingroad posted 7/21/2014 18:44 PM

Projection, anyone?

tired girl posted 7/21/2014 20:08 PM

Is there a reason why she is all of the sudden feeling insecure about things?

deena04 posted 7/21/2014 20:15 PM

Ah, insecurity over their own deeds! That is what it looks like to me anyhow.

MovingUpward posted 7/21/2014 21:51 PM

I know your post shows irony, and you got to get that out. Unfortunately I feel this kind of posting can regress your reconciliation efforts. When I am lucky enough to meet the members face to face, I often get a better idea of who they are. I really hope that when I met you and your W that it wasn't a charade (Which I don't think it was) because my gut was telling me that you two have a great shot at reconciling.

So kudos to you for being open with your postings and PMs. Hopefully you can encourage her to open up and dig down to what might be driving this fear. Communication is a key. Validation is a key. Patience is a key. Listening is a key. As well as Compassion is a key. For either one of you has the sole power to derail R. It will take the two of you working together to make R succeed.

Ascendant posted 7/21/2014 22:02 PM

Thanks to everyone who read my little sarcastic vent. After reading Moo's advice, I've decided that this is something dealt with more appropriately privately. Thanks to all.

sisoon posted 7/22/2014 08:52 AM

Some random thoughts...

I've decided that this is something dealt with more appropriately privately.

That's great, assuming 'privately' means direct discussions with your W inside or outside MC.

And it's really nice to have a place to vent.

Have you considered placing each other's threads or posts off-limits to each other? That won't work perfectly for folks who vent a lot, but it gives each of you some safety.

jo2love posted 7/22/2014 10:40 AM

Locking per OP's request.