Thanks so much for this. I'm going to look up that 180 again.
I got in touch with a counselor and am feeling a bit stronger. I think in this case part of the 180 means we either both work on creating a great marriage or I call it quits. I'll be returning to the house next month - I've read if you continue to live separately reconciliation just doesn't happen.
I'll need to have his full commitment, and be at the right priority in his life or it won't work at all. In the meantime I'm going to focus on getting strong and advocating for myself in the marriage and the rest of my life.