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Feeling the Pain Today

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KatyDo posted 7/21/2014 21:15 PM

Not sure if fwh and I are going to be able to reconcile - I'm wondering if my fwh has been setting me up to get me out of his life. I feel like there might be someone else again. We've been doing this temporary separation, and I've been trying to deal with either outcome, but there is so much grief pouring out about this potential loss. At the same time, I remember that this has been a very destructive relationship and so perhaps it is better that it end. We are on a week of no contact, and I do feel lonely. I'm hoping to hear from SI-ers with advice or suggestions.

jo2love posted 7/22/2014 10:36 AM


I think now would be a good time to focus on the 180. Strengthening yourself will help you get to a better place. What you are going through is so much for 1 person to handle. Venting at IC or journaling can be very cathartic. Sending you strength.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 10:37 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]

nowiknow23 posted 7/22/2014 10:54 AM

((((KatyDo)))) I'm sorry you're hurting, honey. I agree with Jo2love - focus on the 180 and build your strength. No matter what the future brings, you will need it.

KatyDo posted 7/22/2014 14:14 PM

Thanks so much for this. I'm going to look up that 180 again.

I got in touch with a counselor and am feeling a bit stronger. I think in this case part of the 180 means we either both work on creating a great marriage or I call it quits. I'll be returning to the house next month - I've read if you continue to live separately reconciliation just doesn't happen.

I'll need to have his full commitment, and be at the right priority in his life or it won't work at all. In the meantime I'm going to focus on getting strong and advocating for myself in the marriage and the rest of my life.

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