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sodamnlost posted 7/22/2014 01:26 AM

I didn't so much see this one coming, at least not yet. I filed for divorce a week and a half ago, should have a LONG time ago. I wasn't expecting things to feel like this. I am literally being awaken from a horrible dream and running full force into a new life.

A life where I can laugh, a life where I have fun, a life where I have friends, a life where I am *ME* again. That life has finally started, despite SAWH still living on my couch for now. I am moving on and not in an icky way, in a healthy way. Clearly I am not used to healthy and I must say it feels awesome!

I hurt like hell still when I stop long enough to feel it. That's OK though. Part of being me is having big intense feelings. But gosh darn it - somehow I finally realized I am worth more and am on a mission to give myself what he couldn't give to me.

It's about time!

bigskyblues posted 7/22/2014 04:46 AM

sodamlost, congratulations! Moving on does have it's own pain associated with it, but it is also the point where the real healing begins!

I am very happy for you, enjoy the adventure of finding the "real" you again

BSB

WeepingBuddhist posted 7/22/2014 07:29 AM

Some days are going to suck the marrow from your bones but I wouldn't trade my worst day divorced for my best day married to a cheating bastard.

norabird posted 7/22/2014 08:14 AM

Sodamnlost, this is wonderful. It will keep hurting but it's the pain of rebirth--it means you're moving on. You're going to get an amazing life for yourself and you're right, you DO deserve it! Congratulations.

better4me posted 7/22/2014 08:17 AM

I remember that feeling. It felt like "anything" could happen. It was both scary and invigorating. You can hurt like hell and at the very same time be excited about what is to come, don't try to block any of your feelings.

Welcome to your New BEGINNING!